my mind was all in a twirl
all thanks to you.

this may actually excite you; even encourage you, but i'm actually slimming down. yes darling you heard that right. i'm slimming down- that blubber round my waist is decreasing even as we speak although i have no idea whether that is entirely true, but nevertheless, its leaner. well at least it stopped bouncing about my belly button so that is an improvement. and what can be a better way to celebrate the joy of slimming down than to have a eight course feast in my name.

well done, darren.
all that hard work- GAH

but who cares? relatives came together to have a farewell dinner for me so i was more concerned about having a great time with my relatives than the food really. then again it cannot be considered as a farewell dinner, well at least not in totality, simply because the same people will meet again at my aunt's place this sunday to celebrate fathers' day. but nonetheless, thank God for the food.

it was just good.

the same cannot be same for the news i received this morning when i went back to the hospital to remove my stitches. i complained to the doctor regarding headaches around the errr... head, and then she started asking me whether i've been working on some projects and i said no so she said maybe it could be your wound. you see, my wound as found by her and to quote her, is "still tender" and that's a lovely sign of mild infection.

damnit-

- a syringe and a needle
with a hole.

that was the most thoughtful farewell gift they could give to a patient who had undergone more than twenty injections to his gums. but get this, it's meant to help me spray those trapped food stuck in my gums out. how innovative and thoughtful. but since mere rinsing won't help, spraying supposedly does.

and it's a fun activity
really.

on another note,
i should just focus
on the things ahead.

jennifer said it before
and she says it best.
there's no way i'm leaving
without you; staying right
where i am.
that's my stand.

darling, the question now is
what's yours?

i bet this will get all the girls talking

and comparing.

i think i'm fat.

seriously.

or at least getting fat.

see i'm so sure the girls are all wondering what in the world is this skinny fella talking about, but really i think i am getting fat. and i only started noticing it when i was walking back to my aunt's place. i lifted up my singlet and was absolutely flabbergasted to see this belly protruding out from nowhere exactly. as i had a bit to eat before i went out, i was trying to comfort myself with the thought that maybe i was just full from the meal, that's why my belly was bulging out. and so, i started hopping on my toes and lo and behold, what did you know, the belly bounced up and down with the motion.

i am right now,

so convinced i'm going fat.

but hey you listen up. i was forced! or at least, situations forced me to be fat! *Lesson #1: stop blaming your situations. but i'm not! it's the absolute truth. the last time i ran was on tuesday and that was a remarkable 7km run i did and soon two days after that was my wisdom tooth extraction otherwise known as day surgery day. extracted it out and stitched up the incisions i obviously had to rest and not overexert myself lest the stitches open up and well done darren, blood comes out and yippeee, we start the stitching all over again. dang.

and what a difference one week makes

to my once toned abs.

don't laugh. it was once toned, not hard abs as in a six-pack or eight-pack or ten-pack or twelve-pack or x-pack where x is a random integer greater than twelve. then again imagine a person with a hundred-pack, man that will be so *eyesgoblinkblink*. ewww. so i really need to run and burn off all that calories and fats and what else have i there. what a sight! i don't have to do pull ups or sit ups, i just want to run.

but i shall leave that till

my stitches are gone.

and that's NOT procrastination.

call it music therapy?

more like making me psychotic.

classical won't do.

pop won't do.

jazz won't do

and blues will surely not do.

why am i getting the chills again?

chills from yesterday blows in deep

but yet i still get the shivers today

leave me will you?

i don't want to know

anything.

not now.

it must be so hard for an adult

to see his adult child crying for comfort.

i was watching this television show and it hit me right smack there. the love of a parent is just that great, and right now i recall suelynn telling me that there would come a point in life where that thick heavy veil over our eyes now suddenly opens our soul to see the true love of a parent, and this comes after that much years in our lives.

and it really is so true.

how many of you, and i am referring to you young adolescents, really do understand your parents' love for you? there is no politically correct answer for this really because if you say you do, then what have you done all year to show your gratefulness; and if you say you haven't, i cannot blame you because i was once like that. you see our parents don't owe us anything when actually in fact they did us a huge favour in having us conceived and born into the world. mind you, i'm not saying your judgement of the world doesn't matter, but let's leave it there for now and i promise you i will come to it later. but just consider this for a moment, they don't owe us anything but yet their deeds say an entirely different story.

thank you.

it hurts our parents so much when they see just that one tear not just on our face, but really when they see it in us. you may not realise but when we are upset we would naturally display these nuances in our behaviour and what you may also not realise is that your parents can see it. they've been with you all your lives, how can they not know you as you?

we have done so much damage

but yet they ask for no compensation

but only for your companionship

and more importantly

your wings of love.

love you always
dad and mum.

surgery- ah.

i woke up with all in my mouth

but sent to bed with 4 less.

.

today's the big day. left for alexandra hospital for my wisdom tooth extraction surgery which lasted about forty minutes and the effects of it is just, quote daniel, indescribable. i wasn't supposed to remove all of my wisdom tooth at one shot, at least it wasn't recorded in the surgery schedules. but here's the deal presented:

pluck four today,

come back next thurs to remove stitches,

and i should be all recovered by then.

on top of that,

my embarkation leave starts on that friday.

so as you can see, if i could remove all at one shot and still be able to enjoy, and i chose this word with much consideration, enjoy my embarkation leave, why not? at the expense of this uber stinging discomfort at the back of my jaw. contrary to popular belief, the after effects of the surgery is really not painful. its a, as i mentioned, stinging discomfort at the back of your jaw. and if i may add, it's a very stinging discomfort. so far, i've only experienced pain once since the surgery and that was only because i wanted to spit the phlegm out. phlegm? or so i thought.

you see, when blood dries in your mouth

it doesn't just cackle and dry up

like your facial skin after bursting your pimple.

it becomes jelly-like

and when a lot of it comes together

you won't be penalised if you really thought it was

phlegm.

there was pain for two reasons i concur. one, i couldn't and as of now still cannot, open my mouth to that choral "ah" shape but to spit it out, i had to. but the jelly-like substance refused to come out. well at least half of it refused. you see, half of it was stuck to the wound. so i had this blood red jelly-like gel leaving my mouth, like it was a banner across blocks and i believe the domestic helper was absolutely freaked out. i asked her if she had removed her wisdom tooth, her response? -simply speechless. she just stood there and stared into the humid air and just was stunned. well, i cannot blame her. if it were me, i would be screaming around the house, waving my arms in the air is much horror but not before i cover my innocent eyes at the sight of that red thing dripping out.

two, remember that jelly like substance and how it was attached to my wound? well i tried to pull it out, without realising that it was glued to my wound. i merely though it was stuck at the back of my throat. so as i said, i pulled it out. it refused to come out so i could only cut that substance into half with my fingers and just resign to doing my time with this argh.

i learnt from that.

havent had a bite since lunch and don't think i will until breakfast tomorrow. that is if i can even open my mouth. then again, i have to eat. gah. i should have just checked myself into the hospital and ask to be put on the drip or even have that tube inserted into my stomach. wait. that will be even more painful, no no no. cannot.

but there are things to look forward to.

i really am looking forward to a meal with you, definitely; with my lovely family and that includes the older folks; with beautiful choir people like sam and marie who really are not helping in the current unemployment rate- really if the united nations were to take out current unemployment rate today, boy oh boy, you two contributed to it; maybe you can put it down in your resume?; with my cell group and division people; and juniors; and 4b; and 43 and other random people. yay.

.
all these, just at the price of
these days of a very stinging discomfort
at the back of your jaw.

i'm proud of you,

darren.

somehow although tomorrow's my wisdom tooth surgery i feel this sense of peace inside; not exactly freaking out or screaming my blasted head off unlike the promos last year. what a difference a year makes. not going to preach or what but really i think it's God.

maybe it's the music.

i'm just so into the blues now. listening to lovely ladies singing the blues and jazz somehow has this beautiful enchanting effect. i'm pretty sure jiejun's raising her eyebrows now. just had that random imagination. and so with all these mellow singing, my mind's running wild again and bringing me back to those memories again. focus on the present boy, that was that.

it's over.

well i've got tomorrow to look forward to.

goodness, i'm actually looking forward to having my hard-grown wisdom tooth extracted and cut out. i'm thinking, since i mentioned jiejun just now, i should mention marie as well. well, just wondering- marie would probably exclaim

"if they remove my wisdom tooth,

i'll be less clever right?"

spot on.

bimbo.

grateful for the experience

never disappointed, not now

/ ? /

wondering how it would differ

the past present and what is to come

/ ? / ? /

keep that trust

and sustain that faith

i'm sure i'm not wrong.

i'm definitely not wrong.

anything
whatever

whatever

A A A D B

guess what i got the D for?

you'd probably guess it right.

.

.

4cm seperated me from 0 to 100bucks.

what do you think?

well

at least i passed

-on the first try.

THANK GOD.

*piak!

don't laugh, but i just saw these two girls who slap one another's back just to say hi. and all i could do in response was to continue walking with my mouth open, gawking at their seemingly odd friendly gestures. other than this really weird encounter, there were others which i currently cannot seem to recall although it just happened less than half a day ago.

wait, that seems like a fairly long time.

but you do get the point, right?

upon returning home, i opened the letterbox and was not the least surprised to see the lovely nus letter waiting for me to shred into pieces. nonetheless, i gave it its final due respects and opened it gently with a rather sharp and new penknife. the rest that happened after reading the contents should never be divulged. you probably know what i did to the letter already.

think again.

i merely kept it just in case i needed it ever again for some other odd periods of time. seems like i will be accepting ntu's offer tonight although i don't exactly know what's really in store for me when i get there. somehow this seems like a Huge question mark where the answer can only be obtained within, in a few years time.

but as i said, this is just local.

gimme a microphone now,

and i will scream into it.

frankly, who wouldn't? expecially when you checked your nus application outcome online and realised that you've been accepted but into the real estate course. now you tell me whether you would scream and moan and wail and throw your hands in the air- not forgetting to wave it around frantically, break into a wild hysteria and possibly cry your eyes away the drain.

seriously, that's that for me.

my choice has been confirmed for me. ntu is definitely the place i'm going, well at least locally. will apply for aussie and hong kong universities next year but that's subject to the condition that i get some scholarship somewhere.

but there's another thought lingering at the back of my mind.

` maybe i should just sign on with the army,

and possibly spend the rest of my life in taiwan.

possible?

definitely.

"ENCORE!"
"ENCORE!"
"ENCORE!"
"shit, i got sore throat already."

those were the exact words i heard after zara's string ensemble concert last night. since i went alone to that concert, i was laughing to myself to the extent that i worried at times whether the gentleman next to me thought i was mad.

well he didn't. thankfully.

anyway, the concert was definitely a first for me. i have never watched a string ensemble concert in my entire life, and it does include concerts by the sso and what not. performances that i go to are mainly choral in nature. so when you ask me how was the concert musically, i really cannot tell you much as there isn't a basis of comparison. But, one thing's for sure. they mainly played classical pieces which to many may sound really long and boring. but this time it was different. the ensemble played considerably shorter pieces And i didn't sleep. this would sound rather cliche, but i suppose the music really enthralled me:) WELL DONE GIRL. anyway, left the concert right after it ended- passed zara the flowers during intermission- hope you like it, and headed straight to esplanade where i thought i would go suntec to catch a bus home, which i did but without stopping at esplanade where there was this percussion/ drums band playing.

"noise or music? hmmm..."

that was the question running through my head after a while. at first, the sound did appeal to me even attract me to the very spot at where they were playing. but after a while, i started to wonder.

subsequently, i just wandered.

was feeling absolutely thirsty since i haven't had a single fluid intake since who-knows-when? so went to 7-eleven to get a drink. i went straight to the beer/ alcohol section. and i don't exactly know what prompted me to get a beer- i really suppose it was the price, but nevertheless i got one. an Amsterdam 8.4%. when i bought it there was no clear intention but simply to attempt to finish one can of beer and also to see whether i could hold my liquor.

seems like i couldn't.

beer just ain't my thing but at least it tastes better than tiger. DEFINITELY, with a further capital D. i finished it by the time i got to the bus stop and waited for my bus, like duh. while waiting, my head started getting heavy but funny thing was my mind wasn't twirling in circles like what you'd see in movies and television shows, it was clear. by the time the bus came, it was just heavy. i slept through the journey, thinking after sleeping the effects would go naturally?

boy, was i So wrong.

to cut the long story short, i reached my bus stop still with a clear head but was uber dizzy. made my way home and by the time i went into my room, i just plonked on the bed and slept. head was just uber heavy.

UBER HEAVY
...
..
.

now i'm all awake and no hangover effects.
thank God.

going for breakfast with mum now.
till then,
toodles!

this is getting all too exciting.

seating cross-legged on a rather uncomfortable seat and with your back against the hard cold wall of the library isn't exactly the best way you would find this experience the least bit exciting. but it's simply because i'm a subscriber of Wireless_ack_SG!

_ack_ is equal to Shift + 2

just signed up for it since i was coming to the library to meet francis who has been given medical leave off tekong for dinner. frankly, i was rather irritated cause i thought users need not sign up in order to use it? boy was i so wrong. i know some of you people out there think i'm some dumb idiot who hasn't been reading the newspapers regarding this new service by singtel.

to make you happy, i Am that dumb idiot.

but just as a gentle reminder. in the place that i work in, i hardly get the chance to even touch the daily morning papers let alone read it. only being allowed to do whatever i need to do during the one hour lunch break given, obviously we would all go for lunch first right? after getting our food (which takes time), we need to eat (which takes time), we need to walk back (which takes even more time). and after all that vigorous activities, all we want to do next is just sleep.

we Are pigs in there.

haha. anyway, i'm currently using this service and i really pray this doesn't get lost in cyber world. well, if you see this up on my blog then you know it was sent received and read by lovely viewers like you.

till the next time,

toodles!

BEEF ME UP.

not sure whether i'm going paranoid about my health, but i have this sudden urge to exercise urgently. since my days in tekong, i haven't really ran at a consistent pace over a long distance over a long period of time.

and so, i made up for it.

call it making myself feel better, but i just ran roughly 5km after coming home from camp. well i ran it under half an hour, which i must say is quite alright, considering the fact that i have not run such a long distance at a constant pace since the longest time. but what i really find most accomplishing about today's run was the fact that as i ran the full distance, i realised how much stronger my mental state has been. in the past i would normally start slowing down by the second round, that or i would stop at the end of that stated round. but during today's run, i not only did not stop after two rounds but also ran at the most consistent pace by far yet.

well done, darren.

on another note, i went for my medical and dental check-ups during the day and thank God, passed all of them. this also somewhat further confirms by trip up north. but although i cleared both reports, i somewhat was given 'conditional' clearance for my dental report and the reason being that i have yet to extract my wisdom teeth.

my god, i have FOUR not extracted.

and so, i have to extract all of them by the time i fly and if you do know when i depart that would mean that i would have to get rid of all of them within a short time frame of probably less than 1 month. and further considering that i have got seven days off before i depart, i definitely do not want the pain to affect my pre-departure mood. so i suppose, you'll see me not eating much these few weeks. first appointment is at alexandria hospital next monday.

you see, the great urgency.

on another note, you must be practising really hard for your upcoming concert on friday. and i wish you all the best for your all your pre-concert preparations. i'm sure it'll be a blast. as a friend, i'll be there to give you my utmost support. so i'll see you this friday then? yea, i definitely will.

my mum went dinner without me.

PANG-SEH :)

i realised how random this was after publishing it

Your korean name is Yong- Kyu Kwun.

some random thing that i received weeks ago, but never really had the chance to post it out here. and guess at what time i received the sms? 5.32am. IN THE MORNING. when i was happilly, actually sleepily, falling in during the early hours of the morn, this messaged cause my entire back pocket to start vibrating. THAT woke me up.

can't imagine i still can remember all these things. it was so long ago, but yet it just seemed so recent. can't say the same for bmtc-falcon days though. those falcon days were so long ago, and it really Did seem long ago. as if i had been in ns for eons.

come to think of it, i miss my falcon platoon mates.

it's great to know that they're all in great units now. some in ocs, most in sispec and the others well they're all doing well in there. but how i wish we could go back to those days. gordon was right. three months in there wasn't enough. by the week we passed out, we were just all starting to get well-acquainted with one another. but yet, on the other hand it was just such a pain to travel all the way for some of them who stay in the other side of this island. i on the other hand, simply loved it.

sorry, bitchy me. haha.

i don't exactly know why, but i seem to be in a lets-reminescence-of the-past-and-be-emotional-about-it sort of a mood. LOL. but above all, i'll miss you people. be it those from falcon or my signal platoon mates; vjc or vs schoolmates; ministry or cell mates; church or family, all of you will be in my mind, heart and prayers always.

leaving on that train to georgia

will you be there? .

22 june.

important date already,
but it will be of an even greater importance this year.
i will know more details on monday,

GAH- monday prospects.

only when you feel that sense of

nostalgia, that sense of camaraderie,

the idea of not being able to sing with

the people you love ever again,

that's when you have only begun to

learn how to appreciate vjchoir.

exaggerated dynamics

seamless blending

smooth voices

SHARP.

nevertheless, you guys still wowed them.

well done, juniors.

well done.

tomorrow's the winner's night

and i'll be there.
will you?

well done juniors

well done

a letter to you.

Dear Juniors,

tomorrow's the BIG DAY huh? after all the notes, pitch, sweat and toil it finally all comes down to tomorrow! i haven't been coming much to watch and hear you guys cause i've been in the army since the year began and so really cannot say much about how you guys have improved and all that. but from what i have gathered i have come to know that there has been a considerable amount of effort put into your songs and i'm sure you guys have vastly improved from the first time you sang the pieces!

while i may not be the best singer during my time an neither can i say i was a damn blody good leader, after all these years of singing, i suppose i can tell whether the choir feels the music? and so as i mentioned, tomorrow's the big day and hence it is all the more crucial and important for you to feel the song. all that has been drummed into your heads all these months of hard practice, notes pitch and what-nots, doesn't come to life without your own interpretation of it.

love what you do vjchoir, and i'm sure you guys will get there. as i write this, i wonder to myself whether this entry comes too late for the competition tomorrow cause i know you guys will feel the nerves and all that natural stuff but i still have to say this.

on that stage is where you will rule and dominate. no matter what people have said or made hurting comments about you and your voice, don't let those words rob you of Your music. each and everyone of you in the choir was chosen simply because of your love to sing- that's what this choir is all about: the passion to sing. lose that passion, and i gurantee you lose everything. not just material matters such as the coveted award, but i refer more to your heart and soul to which over the years you have cultivated Your song.

everyone of you have come thus far, putting in your individual input to make the song new fresh and most importantly alive. feel that camaraderie and reminisence of the times when you guys had so much fun as well as tears together, and as you sing may you be filled with the music that your soul wants to express. feel not only your own heart but the hearts of the people around you.

after all,

no man is an island

no man stands alone.

With much love,

prayers and good wishes,

darren, class of 2005/ vjchoir.

yoyoyo-ing

i'm hooked, haha.

fly fly baby-

oh the prospects

oooh! what a week.

all its sudden twists and surprising turns.

don't let the sun catch you crying

bounced back.

after all that has happened i guess we can never go back to where we first begun, let alone be together.

even though i wanted it to be

so much.

but as they all say, this just ain't about me. and i suppose that this would and will always be a figment of your memory, and for that i respect you. don't be mistaken: just a couple of years back, when i first asked you you asked me not to be angry.

and i have not since.

you must know that as i write this out, i feel no anger nor disappointment for the fact that for the last few years i've been living on my own and you, just being a friend whom i know will be there for me, has been and still is the independent me. don't be mistaken: i have not been holding on.

since the days that we cleared the air, all i wanted was to focus on the other areas in my life. not that you were the cause, but rather it was i But that really is a totally seperate issue. why this entry is even up here is simply because i thought we could start all over again.

nobody knew. not even that small boy. no one. absolute. it was purely me and me alone. but as i mentioned, this just ain't bout me alone. and so i wanted to know how you felt bout this.

but

after all that has happened i guess we can never go back to where we first begun, let alone be together.

"i wish you love"

go listen.

your presence gives me no solitude
and offers me no company.

beautiful, isn't it?

alt + tab

love it, totally.

sitting facing the windows

i watched the planes go by

then a photograph next to me

simply caught my eye.

.

the days have past

when time slowed down

when we were all together.

but yet, when i look back

these were times i remember.

just the five o' us against riva's mountains.

miss those times.

` miss you guys.

not letting myself go thru it again

we need to talk.

you saw thru' me

still, it's well concealed inside.

oh, the suspense

the scorpio illusion.

we can now

but we should not.

the wrong impressions,
the wrong deductions

there really isn't.

deep voice singing soul and gospel

put your hands up `uh-uh.

a sudden inclination

a sudden rush of memories with you.

did you lie to me in the first place?

i just want to know.

one more day of living in ignorance.

enjoy it boy, enjoy it.

now, Mother Theresa said:
"share your food with the poor"

give me your fries now kiddo.

that nostalgia

we walked down that lane
and reality hit us.
WHAM! you ain't living,
you're in the army.

we ran down that lane
during our cadence run.
WALAU! you ain't running,
you're speeding.

we walked down that lane
slowly to civilisation.
FINALLY! you ain't dreaming,
- that's right,

you're in the army.

tribute.

this is long overdue.

to F1/ Section 4- through these 9 weeks spent with you guys, there has never been one day where laughter was not heard coming from our section. the days spent with you guys have truly been memorable with all the powder baths (brian must really remember that), all the 'wars' between prabhu and ROGER, and between brian and ROGER, and nelson and ROGER. hahaha. we endured so much together, through field camp, route marches, ippt, soc and what-nots, it's truly been a beautiful experience meeting you guys. but it was not all laugh and no seriousness in there, was there? especially after the A level results, there was just so much talk about where everybody was heading and which scholarship we were all applying for and stuff like that; in short, intellectual stuff (comparative to what we usually do in there). i really cannot say too much here in detail, lest i get charged for revealing some weird army shit or something. although i don't know whether experiences in there are considered CONFIDENTIAL or something.

okay, i'm just being plain dumb.

but really the times we spent and the stuff we went through are just so extensive and vast that i simply cannot write all of it down here. in short, the road we travelled was long and weary but when i look back now, it was simply all worth it. all because i knew not just wonderful people, but friends for life.

ABOVE. BEYOND. AS ONE. FALCON!

its been truly been a meaningful and memorable experience doing everything with you guys including all the push-ups by err-hum and yea, everything la. and so i wish all of you guys, including my platoon and company mates, all the best in your future endeavours and your unit life. for those of you guys going to command schools, be the best of what you can be and bring back the honour and glory of being a commander to FALCON COY.

the sun will shine,
the birds will sing
for us for you and me AH!
we are from FALCON COY
FALCON COMPANY AH!

pop-ed.

unit life, here i come!

(sorry ah, feeling lazy now so i'll write a proper note to my dearest section and platoon mates some other time)

okay so this entry is long overdue considering that the content of this entry all took place within a short time frame of just an hour yesterday. and as you may already have guessed and probably wondering how i did for the A's, i didn't do exceptionally well. here are my results:

B- Chemistry
C- Mathematics
C- Physics
B3- General Paper

frankly if you were to ask me how i'm feeling about my results now even after a night's rest, i must really say that i'm still rather confused over my feelings even. not that i was caught unprepared cause i scored D for chemistry, E for mathematics, E for physics and a B3 for GP and they already informed us that we can all expect a two grade improvement at the A's (which as you can see, did happen). SO i was informed and i was somehow mentally prepared for the grades really.

but what caught me by surprise really was my chemistry and GP grade. Chemistry has always been my strongest science subject and i really thought i could ace my chemistry so when i got a B, although i should have expected the B i still nonetheless thought i would get an A.AND for general paper, B3 was a grade that i really never expected to get. that to me was the biggest disappointment to me. and so when everybody in school were talking about their results- knowing where i come from, there was some sense that i let down not just myself but the school as well. ah, that inferiority complex i suppose.

i should have known better.

(thought) but even till now, i do not regret myself dropping econs after first three months. maybe PC M E was a mistake in itself. maybe i should have taken arts or done art right at the beginning. BUT then again, when i think of all these things i start to really wonder that if i didn't take that combination, S43 would never have been part of my life.

right now, i don't even know what i want. douglas messaged me last night to not worry about anything; but pray for everything. let God know what i want and still nonetheless thank Him for all that He's helped me with- which i must say was A LOT. but i don't even know what i want from this results. i suppose all of us have dreams and ambitions and right now this results somehow seems to be a stumbling block to all of that.

then again, when i think about it again if God could cause an endless supply of oil in the 12 empty jars, i shouldn't worry about how He can use my results for His purpose in me. but i guess i'm only human. i need time for it settle in and really consider what i want to do.

all i know is that i've done my utmost best in the subjects that i sat for- believed i wrote the best GP essay i've ever done; did all i could for physics and mathematics within the time frame, and i suppose that i could have done a lot worse than i did. so before i conclude this entry, let me give God all the Glory.

To God be the Glory.
show me Lord.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

yes, it's been a great day.

and the eagle said to the falcon;

they look damn light la.

the only easy day was yesterday.

can't say much about yesterday though.

finally! a proper melody.

after all those irregular rhythm and keys.

can you just feel your level of intelligence dropping?

it's probably sub-zero now
and still dropping

Mine honour is my life; both grow in one
Take honour from me, and my life is done

William Shakespeare's
King Richard II

training to be a soldier.

its getting more fun- yay.

i belonged to moe;

i belong to mindef.

tsssszzzz.

and off it went!

sometime i wonder
whether things are
just worth pursuing-
i can't just leave it
neither can i forget,
but yet if it stares
right in your face
you really can't help
but to face up to it
and realise for the
final moment that...

... it's all history.

archaelogist and dinosaur.

that's history, really?

a huge thanks for the dinner and the gift! i mean first the turnout was rather good (13 of you people), and i guess that really moved me quite a bit to see so many of you. and the dinner- WOAH! fantastic. though you guys didn't cook it, i mean if you did you probably won't be schooling now but rather working in some posh restaurant huh?, i really really loved the fellowship and the times we spent together. and all that bimboticism from errhmmm was totally outrageously funny. HAHA. but yea, thanks for everything guys.

thank you rachel for organising this thing. i know it's been tough on you TRYING to keep it under wraps, but yea. thanks for the efforts. really really appreciate it. and though it may be tough handling the cell alone while i'm gone, turn to the Lord in all your circumstances! remember to keep walking in faith with Him! you can also turn to fellow compatriot in the same circumstances as you, ms lynn tan or probably him. haha. you should know who. whoever it is, know that my prayers are always for you and the cell even when i'm in That place. call me if you need anything ya? i'll be here if you need anything- please don't say that i'm tired from all the physical training and all that, call me really, if you need anything. yepps.

thanks cell. love you guys loads. nownownow, when i'm gone and away please don't give rachel a hard time? she's doing a lot already so yea. i suppose on somedays, send her an sms or two to encourage her and thank her for all that she's doing ya? i'm quite sure she looks forward to that cause i know i will. hahah. continue to GROW and MATURE in the LORD and may He guide your paths always. trust in the Lord always in all your circumstances ya? love you guys lots.

a few more days,
will you say?

i've been wanting to blog about this for a long time since i watched this on the telly a few weeks ago. have you guys ever watched the latest calbee advertisement? i think its rather cute but then again, if you think about the whole plot of the story, it's a rather sickening thought don't you think?

maybe it's just me. ha

well, you first see the lil young 'kids' being 'born' into this world by slicing the parent into little 'kids'. if you don't think that's sick, well continue watching. then these 'kids' go and 'bathe' in some liquid- i suppose it's water cause you need to wash the potatoes right? then they go for a 'sauna'- relaxing? think again, cause the next scene is the entire packet of chips.

the really sad lives of potatoes and their kids huh? the whole being 'born' into the world part, then the whole 'mating' part, then the whole 'marinating' part, the list goes on and then you'll FINALLY come to the conclusion that a potato's life is really bloddy sad.

haha. sadistic us.

point the gun to the vegetable's temple.

:train your barbaric ways

spin me around the dance floor

i just wanna hold you tight.
- loving ziggi.

remembering the good ol' days, dude.

take care and see you soon!

hello there 2007.

i wonder what it will bring?

well then, i just came back from johor, malaysia this afternoon after staying there for 3 days and 2 nights. was like a trip back to the sixties in Singapore, everything there especially the roadside shops reminded me of the old floor tiles of the old shophouses that i used to go in the past. the hotel i stayed in was really a not too bad budget hotel and since i haven't exactly been to a budget hotel 'cept for that sickening dorsett in hong kong, i can't realyl compare. but space wise, this TOTALLY THRASH. but in terms of cleanliness, ah that i don't know.

(and i just realised that i'm typing in NEAR proper english, wth. )

and yea, bought myself quite a number of cheap stuff there. eh, the stuff i buy cannot be found locally at the price i paid for it. every piece of clothing was less than twenty singapore dollars. so it was a rather good buy. remembered i went to the G2000 shop there, and there was a 50% discount there, thus the shirts are not that expensive as compared to the ones we have here.

so i shall talk about it more when i get back here online. i need to sleep already. sleep-defiocient. wahahha.

lemme ask you,
is there even the slightest
possibility that there'll be a
Reunion?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

father, i love ya.

in that little room
squeezed thirteen small bodies
- cramped, stuffy; united.
that was how it began.

back in that room
sat eight mature adults
- space, cool; united.
back to how it began.

let you in on a secret, old cell- when i was back in that house, somehow memories started coming back. right from the moment i stepped onto the steps to the house, something familiar was coming back to me, till the moment i sat down and ate at the table; something was happening. LOL. it was a fantastic night, and it only reminded me and is a testimony to the phrase 'ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER'. it was a fantastic night everyone.

thanks for making this night so special and 'old'!!! haha. hello there zhi xuan and stanford, welcome to the good ol' cell group i was from! never failed to be proud of being from this cell! LOL.

love you people.
like loads.

i thought of your xmas gift-

a box of dandruff.

bryan, kenna cheated- nothing here!

but really, go ahead with it.

i love rain.

caroling season just begun!

i was just watching the telly just now and was just rather 'put off (i really cannot find any other words to describe the feeling)' at the congratulatory advertisement to team singapore for their stellar performance at the asian games in doha.

why? simply because when we struck gold in italy at the international choral competition there, we received no congratulatory message from anybody with exception of the school and our local choral support. now now now, from the bottom of my heart i really do think that team singapore did very well- stellar performance really! the way tao li went against all odds and beat strong competition from swimming poweerhouses china and japan; the way our bowlers went on strong till the end; the way our young athletes did so so well at the games, all these have truly made me feel proud to be a singaporean.

but yet somehow i feel that there is such a biasness to the arts groups here in Singapore. well, maybe it's because there ain't no live telecast of the arts competition here in singapore or maybe there ain't a strong base of support for these budding arts groups here in singapore. hold on a second, i just recalled that sports for the physically impaired also do not get as much attention as us. then again, at least they get some support from some external organisation, we don't. *sigh* what else can i say? somehow when i watch that advertisement, i don't feel as if the choir i was in achieved as much as team singapore in doha although we won 3 golds there. i don't even feel as if i represent singapore when i sing at such an international competition.

"where is that 4 million strong sideline that came with Team Singapore?"

don't we want our little nation to be known internationally to be not just as a sporting powerhouse but one that is equally involved in the arts? are we balanced? what sort of signal are we sending to our budding young talents in these arts-related groups? well i can't say for all, but personally i don't really feel that sort of national pride when i sing and win for that matter- basically, i don't feel that i won the coveted medal for my nation, instead, i feel i won it more for my choir and school. is that the sort of 'national pride' that we are trying to instill here in the people?

you know it really brings me great Great GREAT pleasure whenever i'm reminded of the international rankings that the VICTORIA JUNIOR COLLEGE CHOIR is 9th IN THE WORLD and 2nd INTERNATIONALLY IN THE MIXED CHOIR CATEGORY even without the support of you, external organistations. so kudos and lots of thanks to everybody at vjc for your support and encouragement.

no thanks to you external organisations.
go reflect.

i have come to the firm conclusion that flickr is rather useless.

imagestation rox.

HK HK HK ! ! !

well then, i just came back from hong kong this morning on the jetstar asia airways plane landing at the airport here at around 12.15am (when we were supposed to have landed at 11.50pm the day before). well, the delay was due to, according to the pilots, the late arrival of the plane from singapore to hk so i suppose it sort of pushed back the schedules a bit huh. anyways, the flight to and fro were rather comfortable if you ask me. that is if you are just looking for a flight that just allows you to sleep and do nothing else, cause really there really ain't nothing to do on board the plane. no inflight entertainment- except for a really pathetic magazine about asia; no good luxury food that you would find on board a singapore airlines or cathay flight; basically nothing. well, i tried the fried egg noodles with seaweed roll dish and i must say the 8 dollars you're paying really is just to fill your tummy and not to tantalise your lovely lil' taste buds. trust me on this, it ain't fantastic but it's edible, at least. and oh i won some travel voucher on my way back through some lucky draw, so i just might go overseas just before i enlist next year.

went on this trip with 12 other people, i think- namely francis, louisa, camillus, tim, peimin, daphne, zuo yi, zihua, cynthia, qixin, joan and not forgetting my roommate karfu...

HALT! if you're thinking this entire entry is gonna be the hotspots we went to and the details of each and every segment of my trip, you can just press ALT- F4 now, cause i won't be doing just that. i ain't got much of a photographic memory, and neither do i have the time to type all that down. and even if i do fulfill both requirements, i probably won't type it down here will i? i might as well type it into notepad or word and send to some publication company and then sell it to you. ha.

... and as i was saying, we went to many places lahx. temple street, ladies street, central, admiralty jordan, and many of the heartlands where there were a considerable amount of shopping which could be done there. haha. and since i'm here at this juncture, i might as well tell you what in the world i bought so here goes-

- 3 bags

- 1 t-shirt

- 1 vcd

- 1 lovely fake watch

- 4 lil bottles

- 1 pair of earrings

- 5 leather-back notebooks

- 1 G2000 tie

- 1 pair of nike running gear

- 1 bottle of liquor

- 1 pack of beer

- and some more stuff that i cannot remember now.

yea, so you can probably know how much i spent here. if you're thinking that i spent like tens of thousands of dollars here, forget it. every item i bought was less than 100HKD. haha. i bargained like mad lahx. totally a mamasan- wait, that's no meaning. HAHA. but yea, you get the idea. we shopped like mad and come to think of it, my feet stil hurts today. and i think this trip has had a negative effect on me- I'M HOOKED ON SHOPPING!! after i went home, i immediately left home to send taoyat and potato off and then headed down to town to window shopp. so technically i didn't sleep since 9am yesterday morning, quite pro huh. haha. okay lahx, not that pro cause i slept like 2hours on the plane and 45mins at the airport but yea, you get the point. PS: don't find fault with me if you can not sleep for like 10,000 years.

guessed i learnt a lot throughout this trip, not just in terms of the dialect, but yea of myself as well. kudos to karfu (give yourself a pat on your back if you're reading this karfu!) who helped me see things that i previously was so oblivant to. i definitely learnt a lot and i definitely absolutely enjoyed every moment of it. and it's so true that a holiday is really a holiday if your company makes it a holiday. haha.

alright, i shall end here. photos should be up tonight i think. haha. till then, byeeeee~

it seems like i've been focusing

too much on The problem

when all i needed to see

was myself.

probably the last post on you.

i walked into the space.
expecting something

, and then ,

i walked out of it.
leaving everything

you were beautiful, sensual
in the evening splendour.
steal a glance and look at me!
things from here gets no better.

you may not have caught
what i wanted to say,
instead you already planned
on giving it away.

i was broken but laughed it off-
"c'mon boy, let go of it all!"
. . . that's why i leave you behind,
attempting to forget what i saw.

just remember why it was given
- the statement of my love
keep it close to your bosom
for tonight ends it all.

maybe it is easier for us this way- i voluntarily drop out of this game; you can have the joy of picking from a smaller basket of good fruits. i have resolved within me that when the farmer comes and picks the fallen fruit up and attempts to eat it, things will just not work out for both fruit and human. give it up- we ain't kidding ourselves anymore. i know where this will lead to and i'm certain of the future for me if you partake of me. we ain't kidding ourselves anymore. pick a fruit from the basket, i heard they have shone their best brillance to you so now take your pick. i wish you all the best in your future ahead.

PS: sdd photos are uploaded at
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63962536@N00/

PROM/ SDD'06- HOLLYWOOD

and so i just came back from my first ever prom night (cause vs didn't have one; even till now) and i must say i wasn't exactly pleased with it? hmmm. it was alright lahx; possibly because i don't have any other prom nights to compare to- well that's my rationale. it was so-so if you ask me. hmmm so here's wat happened-

went to ritz-carlton at round 6.20pm and the moment i stepped out of the cab i realised that my right sole was dropping off- it must have been due to the rough handling the day before cause the shoe was a lil' uncomfortable; it was new by the way. so i sorta freaked out a lil' and i was more anxious to find people i know outside the ballroom rather than worry bout my shoe. so i walked down the stairs and i guess people were sorta talking about me, i dunno bout wat but i sorta guessed that i was wearing cream/ white suit and everybody else were like wearing black. haha. but back to the sole. left my stuff at the table with difei to look after and then rushed up to the main entrance where a lovely staff member came and helped me with the directions to the nearest cobbler. so i made my way to the cobbler in millenia walk and guess wat- my sole came off right there in harvey norman! gosh. lucky no one behind me if not it'll be damn malu lahx! wahaha. so to prevent any more malu-ness, i hid my sole in my blazer and walked to the cobbler there. and then guess wat- the cobbler told me he can't mend my shoe! like WTH! "c'mon man, the boy here needs to go for a function and you won't even help me this one bit..." but yea, but he was nice and directed me to suntec where i finally fixed my shoe and it was all good. rushed back to the hotel and i wasn't late. in fact the entire event started late. haha. everybody was just outside the ballroom photo-whoring and trying to get over their beauty while others just look on with envy. haha.

yeah. it started like an hour late i guess cause cousin told me so. and by the time it started it was like 8pm? don't really know. i sat at the table right in front of the emergency exit so in case there was a fire, i'd be one of the first to live. wahahha. no meaning, but soon the event started and i recall quite vividly the excitement i felt cause it's my first prom night? then when the emcee went on stage, he was like omg. GET HIM OFF THE STAGE MAN! irritatingly funny in the not funny way. yea that's that. haha. but it's true lahx, even some of my classmates said at some points his tone's not that right for the occasion. haha.

and then the night started with a salsa dance by some external people who were fantastic. then they brought out the pageants and they walked down the runway- alright but some looked clumsily funny. haha. then walk somemore, then errr. okay lohx. dinner started which was so minimal (in total) that i suppose the amount given to us can't even feed a kid. yea- that bad. haha. but quality wise- it was good. haha. then the pageants started dancing the waltz. no meaning, but it was boring watching them spin here and there with not much energy and variation. haha. so-so.

eat some more, then was feeling bored already so went to look for the choir girls, which i then told them to go find all year twos and we meet outside to take some photos lahx which we obviously did. totally 3 photographers came to take photos for us and hey, they didn't even take photos with all our cameras. gah. then we started singing songs at another place which definitely brought back memories- in italy, in sov, in choir. sang some chirstmas songs which already made heads and ears turned to us, and with ad dominum and shower to end it all, it simply brought back memories. haha. fantastic. really looking forward to seeing you guys at carolling! hahah .

went back in, four toads came out and immediately i left. sickening. socialised a bit then went back when i saw jasmine tye walk in. haha. so i was kinda visibly surprised lahx, but nevertheless didn't really thing bout entry.hah

daniel band rox. have been a fan of them since day one, truly a band that we year twos can be proud of. performance was good just that keyboard ain't loud enough to match up the lead and bass. and after taht, jasmine came out and sung foolish games which to me were good. haha. so it was quite a surprise lahx i suppose. then she started giving out some prizes liek the prom queen and king sorta thing and gah- was alright only lahx. haha.

but i must say that the prizes up for grabs were damn good- trip to perth, cruise trip, iPod nano, creative merchandise, nike ball. yea. haha. good stuff.man. gah. but didn't win anything. my number was 0400, which is really too nice a number to win any lucky draw. haha. dun bother.

and then it ended at around 12.15am with some really loud music which kinda blew my ears away and then some people were dancing on the dance floor while others streamed out. ahah. a massive pack of people outside as compared to the ballroom. hah. so obviously finding people will be difficult right? haha. it sure was. gah. took quite some time to get everybody ready and go out partying!

we didn't go post-prom party at DXO, some of us don't have the cash, some don't wanna drink and i personally... DON'T MIND. haha. yea. but in the end, we ended up walking to clarke quay where we ate at satay club. it was at this club that cam sang with the guitarist *clap hands lah* hahha. was sorta invited up on stage to sing a few pieces which he did. haha. and then shortly after that at around 3am, we went to macs at liang court. chilled out there and basically juxt talked and boozing around. haha. since the food at the hotel wasn't filling, we ate somemore loh! haha. lou then bought some bacardi's rum from 7-11 and then only karfu, herself and i took shots each. haha. was alright lahx. raw shots that is- okay lahx, but damn it dries the throat. so we hung around there for about 2hours and left only at around 5am. ahahah.

walked down the pavement when we finally decided to climb up to the top of fort canning park which we eventually did and went down to the plaza singapura side. took us around 45mins ba and then we took a train where some of us went home and the rest just sat at the gates deciding wat to do. well i'm supposed to be sleeping cause they're supposed to meet at 2pm online to discuss of a possible mahjong session at cam's place. haha. hmmm. so i think i should try to get a shut-eye soon.

to my dear S43: i'll upload the photos soon ya? not as yet... not as yet...

in conclusion,
consider the fault to be mine
i've given up
and i will move on.

you still have not known
and you will never know
the things concealed from you
the past i give up

make your move competitor
i don't give a bull anymore
she ain't no commodity
and all i ask of you is...

to take care of her well.

the boy prepares to rumble.

PHOTO WHORE COMING THROUGH.

wondering when i'll see you again.

hey there guys of 4B- i really do wonder when will it be the last time i see you guys again; each and every one of you guys.

STAY IN TOUCH FELLAS!!!

don't think you're irreplaceable.

that space remains empty-