from The Straits Times, Life section
Thursday, February 26 2009, Page C3
"When choir boys 'lose' their voice"

this was what a St Thomas Boys Choir boy had to say of his experience in choir - "He said: 'Being in the choir demands so much work, but you do get something out of it. It's a special feeling when you sing Bach and feel the history and tradition behind the choir." (italics mine)

somehow, i felt i could relate to that statement
& i wonder how many choristers out there can too
the joys of singing are truly inexplicable.

finally, for once a non-emo entry; or at least i think it not to be. so, i was performing at a choir concert today with chorale, alongside the college choir and the more i looked at these mainly eighteen year-old adolescents running everywhere, not to mention a hell lot of noise, i really couldn't help but remember my frivolous youth.

ah, yes. the days we used to sing on the bus whilst on the way to the community centre for extra practices. the countless dinners our batch would always go for after every practice; after every thrice-weekly practice. it was nostalgic to be back in the same place where my batch probably staged her first public performance all on our own.

seeing the girls in their white gowns, with their hair tied up neatly with a matching white ribbon and the guys in their smart black suit with striking red tie, it was those wild days that i was remembered.

a junior was concerned with his batch, and my answer was this: every batch is different. but no matter the differences we may have within ourselves and with our seniors, as long as we work hard and work together, legacies can be left behind; footprints can be left behind. my batch did well, and i'm proud of our accomplishments. we overcame the odds to become who we are today, and look at where we are now. united. bonded. together. ultimately, friends.

so to the juniors i have this to say,
enjoy your years in vjc.
enjoy your years in vjchoir.
cause honestly, two years is not much
look back on the days you create today
and be satisfied.

i know i am.

The Equation

1 + 1 = 2

that's what they always say, don't they?

that's what we've been taught all along, haven't we?

all this while, all we've ever thought about was the '1' in the equation. what the numbers on the 'left side of the equal sign' are are all we ever think about, or at least that's what we've been learning all along - how it affects the equation; how it affects the 'right side of the equal sign'; how it affects the End.

but haven't we been selfish in forgetting about the '2'? have we thought whether it has even wanted to Be in the equation?

is it wrong for one to keep giving and giving and desire for an expected result? sure we do. we're the '1's aren't we?

after all i've gone through, i apologise for not thinking about how you felt. how it feels to be '2', how you probably felt you never wanted to be in the equation at all. how this equation finally ended nullified; how it ended void; how it ended up being a ZERO.

should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements;

even if it leads nowhere.

it Would be a waste, even if i knew my place

should i leave it there?

i answer, yes. i should.

i guess that's probably the reason why i'm remaining passive about certain things. sure enough, i don't close myself to the world, but that doesn't give me any more of a reason to be seeking actively.

but i won't even ask you to stay. in spite of saying that, this i must say - there's something about you that keeps me going on, and i'm not even sorry about it.

i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

& i thought being strong meant never losing your self-control

but i'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

to hell with my pride, let it fall like rain

tonight i wanna cry.

maybe keith was right along.

they say people grow with time

inevitably, they change too

the times spent in classic togetherness

now seems distant, almost a memory

we can never go back to those times

or can we?

expectations are wings that help us to soar

but they can also be weights that pull us down

together we came into this world

but look at you! you've grown so tall

i've forgotten how you were

only the memories remain

and after all this while i ask myself

do i really know you?

then again,

do you really know me?