the call.

The way to social change is not to change, even revolutionise, the social system but by teaching and empowering our youths in realising that they too can make a difference in someone else's life.

I just went for my last Medical Sociology lecture and it was bloddy depressing considering the social structure of Singapore. We are not only class-conscious but also class-anxious. Let's not even talk about having quality of life if we can't even survive with the capital we have or will earn. We are anxious for the future and the strangely, the hope that we'd do better than our parents' generation still lurks mysteriously in our optimistic mind.

Marx was over-simplistic --- the social structure cannot be changed overnight. I wonder then what the hell am I studying Sociology for. I remember feeling this way when I took an Economic Sociology module; seems like nothing has changed huh. And here I am faced with the dilemma of deciding to work as an educator or to pursue a post-graudate degree, I still wonder where's my place in the world.

So I come to my conclusion: since I cannot possibly revolutionise the world and change the social structure, start small and begin with the youths. Whatever I choose --- to study or to work --- immediately after graduation, will definitely be about educating our youths and empowering them to begin their own mini-revolutions themselves. Of course the question I ought to ask then is: Which group of students should I educate --- High School, Pre-University or College?

Father, reveal more and more of Your plan for me. I know you're calling me into teaching, into the education profession. But I pray you show me, increasingly, the group of youths you want me to empower most effectively. Empowerment doesn't stem from me but from You; I am but Your conduit and I'm only honoured to be considered as one. Show me Lord, show me.

Remember this Darren, remember this.

I wish you were still here.

Today as we usher in the Lunar Year of the Dragon, we also celebrate the presence of our loved ones and friends. We organise reunion meals of all forms --- BBQ, grill, steamboat, pot luck --- and then catch up on each others' lives be it through a decent conversation or mere small talk. Nevertheless it is exactly because we see some value in these social gatherings, that's why we participate in them. In other words, we celebrate each others' presence and lives because we see value in the relationships shared.

But strangely today I was reminded not just of those present around me; I was reminded of those who have gone before us and who have, well gone home. I remember how the New Year celebrations were like with them around and the birthdays we use to celebrate for them. I remember the food they made and the persistent naggings at every of our lil' meetings. I remember the days I'd run down the stairs and the days the kids'd gather in the room and prepare an item for the adults (gosh, I really disliked those mini performances). I really, really missed them.

I wish my brother and sister were with me.

I wish my paternal grandmother was still around.

I wish my gong-gong was still around.

I wish to hold my ye-ye's hand and know him.

I wish my great-grandaunt was here.

There can be a thousand wishes posted here but I know, I know that none of them will ever come true. My only comfort is that they're in good hands (I pray so) and that the Lord is indeed what the Word says He is: sovereign. So in this Lunar New Year, the second 12-year cycle till the Year of the Dragon returns again, I suppose this entry is pretty sobering and humbling to write: That my life is not my own; indeed "To live is Christ and to die is gain // No matter what price I pay, I choose this give this life away"

i just want to say,

you've been a fantastic friend all these while. so take care kiddo; do find courage and solace in the Lord. you know you're not alone because you've got this pal watching your back, praying for you, and always ready to listen and comfort and support and encourage.

be strong my brother.

In His Most Amazing Love,

Darren.

"Cast your cares on the LORD

and He will sustain you;

He will never let the righteous fall."

(Psalms 55:22)