the definition of a second: be blown.

The unit of time in SI, the duration of 9,192,631,770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the cesium-133 atom.

scientists really must have nothing better to do right?

and the moments..

a ceremony that causes a part
of your heart to be chewed upon.
the pain, the agony, the sadness
that dwell upon the inflicted.
the sense of loss is felt when you
went away leaving me behind;
the memories were your legacy
- your gift to me.
i know that though we may be apart
we shall always be together
as one, as VJCHOIR.

thank you all seniors for your unwavering support of your dear juniors here. it has been an amazing experience just being able to sing alongside ALL of you. all these come from the deepest depths of my heart and i really mean it. ALL of you have been influential in way or another, never failing to bring a smile or a warmth to the coldest hearts and feelings. no matter what time of the day, pms or not, vjchoir has always been like a family to me- with everyone being so close to one another and all. its just been fantastic. i really pray that i will be able to meet all of you guys one day and yea, just sing our hearts out cause it was the love to sing that brought us to one another anyway. it was great just knowing all you guys, let alone enjoying every moment of fun we had together.

thnx for EVERYTHING, my dear Seniors (Batch of 2004/ 05).
wishing you guys: all the best in your future endeavours!
God Bless You Always.

merry!

paint the town all red and green
shop with me cause we ain't sleepin
go down to the hotels and carol away
out in the snow we would frolic and play.
sing to me a joyous melody
of Christmas carols so happily
Christmas is here after a long year's wait
all the excitement, ain't that great!
let us all listen and hear
take your cup of wine and forget the beer
to the reason for the season
that is Christ to us is given!
amen.

wanna be alone

i want to be alone
just for this time being.
everything in this perceived mind
seems so odd; so wrong.
facades pass me by every day
impressions have been proven false
living manequins don the streets.
you know what?
i'm tired.
tired of being in such a presence.
i just want to be alone.
period.

fireworks of pixels shoots from nowhere
you've won; you've won it silently screams
and when you look back into your life
you start to see how reality and dreams
- differ.

you deserve to-

blow up the bars
and cause an uproar.
Fellow countrymen; lend me your ears
-right.
you took the very thing
that sustained their life.
for you craved for sinful pleasures,
you deprived many of simply living.
confucius say; go to jail
-bad boy.

` missing my old self

walking on this tightrope
where time plays its fools,
just one foot off the balance
and down your body flew

i want to retrace my steps
till the very beginning,
call it childish or the like
i refuse to continue this fling

gravity falls upon me like a ton
upon the crown of my soul
i'm falling can't you see
i guess you're just as blind too.

dislike

I
be nice and talk to me
hug my ego and boost my fame
give me authority this i pray
when you show me
this half of your face.

shut me up and howl at me
leave me out in the cold all alone
give me your time this i pray
when you show me
this half of your face

II
time has passed us like a snap
two pillars that were once strong
now lay dilapidated and frail
what went wrong my friend?
tell me the truth, please.

we held up problems and
supported one another in every way.
but yet even though such a thing
has happened, you will always remain
- more than a friend,
a Brother to me.

back from korea!

ever felt the extremes of temperature?
-11degrees one day, the second 30degrees.
korea one day, the second singapore.

take me up north and let me see the snow
you disappointed me mother nature,
for you have only made me cold.

take me up to the mountain top and let me
touch the clouds; let me see the shooting
stars and from the top ski your way down

bring me down to the mini-hong kong
the city that never sleeps: seoul. beautiful
it is but just be careful where you face

breezes. winds. gales. cold winds from up north
blow me down to the south. hate what you do:
stay within me and keep me still. freezing.

fly me down back to singapore and let me
feel beads fall from the crown and flood my back.
for 6 days, i have not felt this and i have decided
- i want to be right here: singapore.

its just great to be back to be with all of you guys

>>vjchoir! i missed you so....

like wow.

hello there earthlings from warm sunny singapore!
here i am in freezing korea, mwahahhaa.
take care people! will be back in a few days time!

to my dear choir peeps: take care man... see u guys soon! take care of the year zeroes yea? hahaha. oh ya! welcome year zeroes! hahhaa.

see ya guys soon...
coming back on the 14 dec....

take me in your arms and fly

enoy your last moments of spring
feel her cool breath through your hair
let it moisturise your soul
bring forth its beauty,
- its splendour

find yourself immersed in winter
feel her icy touch on your delicate skin
bring all within to a standstill
the time is now
- its splendour

hahaha. dunno wat the hell i'm talking about in this poem.

hahaha. blame it on the lack of inspiration ba. ahhaha.

so totally no meaning. hahaha.

anyway, i'll be flying off today to S.Korea.

hahaha. so exciting! cheap thrills me.

take care guys!

my personal message: blatent

TO MY VJCHOIR FAMILY: i thank God each time i stand beside everyone of you guys during practice, knowing that there's a reason why all of us were even called to be in this choir in the first place. the road we took was ardous, tough and trying. some of us struggled, some complained- natural instincts would have told all of us to do the same. but nevertheless, we stood by one another and hey tonight, we made our own legacy- one that will be remembered by many as a strong choir putting up a strong concert. we stood by one another through these times, sometimes even argued over minor details, but hey which family would have no problems? i'm extremely proud to say we have passed through these trials with much grit and determination in our hearts to see our very own branch in this family tree grow and produce fruits that even people would stop and taste of its goodness. thank you all.

TO MY BUNCH OF TENORS: namely Martin, Marcus, Shi Xuan, Yen Yu, thanks for all the times we spent together as a section. indeed, we have endured many trying moments of being singled out from the choir just to get our notes right. but hey we got through that and the very reason for it is simply that we wanted to improve ourselves continously and wala! we're now strong. hahhaa. crazy bunch but serious at work. it has been great singing with all of you guys. damn! tenors rock!

TO MY DEAREST EXCO: namely Marie, Samantha, Chia and Siying, we have come a long way just to produce this special evening of music and dance. the organisation was splendid but i must say that even with the best organisation plan, if the choir never co-operated, well tonight's results would most likely (actually, definitely) be different. therefore, refer to first paragraph. hahhaa. rock on exco.

TO MY DEAREST YEAR ZEROS: namely Daniel, Yen Yu, Josiah, Shi Xuan, Debbie, Shu Wei and Yvonne, hope you guys had a great time singing with us. really hope you guys felt the homeliness of the choir and how much this choir acts as a family to many of us. to many of us, choir is our life and our life is choir. it has been a great few weeks singing with all you guys. with practice after practice, you guys still came, thank you. hope all goes well with you and yea- hope to see you next year.

IN A NUTSHELL, THANK YOU VJCHOIR.
YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN CRAZY BEFORE CHOIR
BUT SERIOUS DURING CHOIR
THEN EVEN MORE CRAZY AFTER CHOIR
YOU ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED
AND FOR THAT, I THANK YOU ALL.

THANK YOU VJCHOIR.
YOU MADE YOUR DAY
YOU MADE YOUR LEGACY.
WE MADE OUR LEGACY.

I.
let every drop of the wave crash upon me
let it beat hard upon the velvet skin of mine
let it fall hard upon the skull till it cracks
let it break the ligaments of the joints

i just wanna live.

II.
you remind me of my past
my present and possibly
my future too.
the striking resemblence
coincidence? maybe.
then again maybe not.

i just wanna live.

please let me live.

irritation gets to the head

a million fragments
constructed from the sound of
- a pin drop.
piercing through the
still of the night
it haunts even the spirits of
- the living dead.

then again, i am the living dead.

bah. i'm just irritated man...

[written at approx 1950h]

Shower.

ah- that feeling
is it a deja vu?
something so familiar
yet so strange,

run your hands
through your crown;
restore it to full glory
breathe new life.

refresh every tissue
cause every cell to grow
flood the cities of the dead
send it down the drain.

bubble it up
foam on you
filled with nothingness
air- that's all i feel.

open the door
and out in the open
you risk another war
with tinny winnies,

well, at least you won this time round.

heh.

iPorn.

-ha

when i fall in love

when i fall in love

it will be forever.

- in my heart always

the full package of a bitch

Education is a public good. Discuss.

all the best to the year 2 seniors for their GP tml.
nah- your practice qns.

about the statement: go figure.
hone.

a million thanks

ah- shan't speak in flowery language and poems this time round. cause it pretty difficult to say what i wanna say through peotry, hahaha. you can say that i'm not that pro lahx. ahhaha. actually i am not pro in poetry. ahhaha. okay... here goes.

to my dear project work team mates (damn. VJ120 rock BIG time!!): its been a great year working with all of you guys. seeing everyone of you putting your efforts, thoughts, views, opinions and most frank positive criticisms into this project has has made this project successfull. i am proud to say that all of us can call this final piece of work our own. although there were times when we were just plain slacking and not doing anything while the other groups were chionging away their project, we had fun didn't we? hahaha. all that chionging at the final minute. man- those are days and TIMES that i would never forget. ahhaha. i think all of us have improved tremondously in terms of opening up to one another. some of us learnt patience, some gained confidence, some taught, others learnt. it was just simply fun. hahaha.

maybe i'll just end off with a short (i hope!) poem.

hahah. -damn impromptu.

days have passed like arrows to the board
but as each arrow slices through the air
new friendships blossom, life renewed.

obstacles have opposed us many times
but hands holded together we stand united
nothing stops us, we've finished the race.

it was a good race
we've fought a good fight
we're champions.

thank you zheng guang rong, janice tan siew ting, tan zihua!

a million thanks.

i wish...

i wish for that milk chocolates
i wish for that twisties tomato
i wish for that ban mian
i wish for that banana milkshake
i wish for that char siew pau
i wish for that apple laptop
i wish for that sennheiser headphones
i wish for that fluffy bear we saw at the store
i wish for that times we shared to return
i wish for that good night message
i wish for that beautiful smile on your face

i wish for nothing else but happiness for you.
damn. i miss you loads.

rain rain go away

maybe the heavens weep for me now;
clouds soaked in the tears of thunder.
claps of thunders fills the skies,
lighting it up like the very morning day.
why can't it light up this tunnel whose
the end seems so bleak and dark and gloomy?
hurricanes; tropical storms; earthquakes
rock the land of this feeble mind
-casualty: 1.
my entire being.

shaken by the aftershocks and math
of what has came and gone in the flash
i sit here alone; huddled with my bestest
best friend- my snugly blanket.

worried sick.

i'm sorry my brother
for not replying earlier
for i was away on a trip
here's my wish, i hope you'd keep:

that He shall direct your paths
keeping you in His love,
peace and joy, that you
may be succesful in all that you do.

to jeremy gan, dan, gen rong, shi xuan, law, seth, josh cheam, fredrick, johnny, and the rest of my dearest VS juniors and DSA juniors too (sorry can't remember all your names): from the bottom of my heart, i really wanna wish all of you guys a really wonderful and blessed 2-3 weeks of the O levels. tough situations don't last, only tough people do- i'm very sure you guys will go through this satge with much confidence and strength each and every day of the paper. My heart goes out to all of you, I'll be praying for all you guys! yepps.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be give to him."

- James 1:5

drawings of the past

did this after collecting my econs mcq and math paper. really about to go mad.

during chem lecture- super pissed and irritated with things revolving around me. need to scream it all out so badly,

but i cannot.

i simply can't.

reminiscing the S2 past in aep of doing printmaking. still very much shaken by the results;

disfigured by the bombardments and shards of the truths of life.

time's ticking away...

these 3 sketches were done based on the works of francis bacon.

his artworks are fantastically good.

expect more of his influence on my drawings soon.

the fundamentals to the poem before this entry.

you won't know what i'm going through.

results//+

blindfold me
tape my mouth
glass will shatter
rain shall fall from
windows of the soul
-revelations has said it all
entrapped within
one's darkness and fury,
unescapable from it,
what more is there?
-only a thin ray hangs in
disfigure me
oh power of sound
adam! spoil the apple!
scream perils
scream it now
-hear the heavenly shatters

i told you to
blindfold me
and to
tape my mouth.

i told you.

feelings unexpressed

mail's here!
the andrenalin rush to the head-
excitement in the atmosphere.
then the good news arrived;
OH MY GOODNESS ME!

to dan and jeremy: you dunno how excited and happy i am for both of ya. to tell ya the truth, i was really really super duper worried for ya guys when i couldn't help ya guys in the whole dsa thing. i was so so distraught lahx. but thank God, He really helped you gusy pulled through; and i'm like so extremely sure i'll see you guys next year man! right now, my hands are literally shaking and i'm like... WOAH! real real good news. thanks a lot man, dan... didn't even tell me... need jeremy to tell me ah... some brother.. ahhaha. thanks jeremy for telling! hahaha. i'm really really so darn excited fer ya guys; seriously seriously excited. i really dunno what else to say lohx; hahaha... real awesome!

"And all things, whatsoever,

ye shall ask for in prayer, believing,

ye shall receive."

- Matthew 21:22

random house

Gryffindor! Fun-loving and ballsy down to the last
detail, you follow rules when it's convenient
for you and never turn down an opportunity to
par-tay. You're loud, mischievous, and a little
naive at times, but never let your awesome
self-confidence waver. Like Slytherin, you too
appreciate the finer things in life...just in a
very...different way.

A More Unique Hogwarts Sorting Quiz

that state of mind- daze

that state of mind- hello there;
i'm back again. i'm lost, so lost
once again. help i scream- but
no one comes to my aid
no one.

am i once again alone in this
daze that catches the mindless
soul unprepared- nah. it can't be
that bad, it just can't
or could it?

for this battle of matters of the
hearthas been a long fought battle
i'm running short of supplies and
tired i've become
fall down now.

now that's love lost; love forlorn-
oh how i yearned for that moment.
thatintimate moment with you- but
thou was rejected of your love-
i'm so sorry.

- i'm so sorry.

gone are the moments

gusts of wind ruffled the strands of the human mind,
toying with the strong will and faith that was once
without firm foundation; it was not of any kind
but that which was through the means of examinations.

small blows of the wind from the mainland blew across
the table in the examination hall- i didn't study; well
minimally. essay was fluent i think with little loss
of words to express thee it was good as with the main paper.

the winds of the economy changed drastically with
choices that had to be made were tough as red meat;
recalling from memory what was done past few weeks
essays both were conquered and sounded off with victory.

the winds subsided.

molecules/ atoms/ pressure/ alkanes and the like- beautiful
i say; in nature it was friend to me, on paper it was foe.
for on my side, He who made the skies and the seas blue
it was over and conquered, securing a victoriou win.

the shape of a typhoon on graph sounds intimidating to you
doesn't it; but frankly it's not as bad as you think. it was fluent
at least for the first few questions and then came dee you
dee exx and the elongated S shape- my faith unwavers.

and as the velocity of the wind changes with time, it was a hell
lotta words in description. wonderfully described and defined
were the terms; what more can i say? will it ring your memory's bell
if i were to bring you back to the very first day of the
attack of the examination winds.

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint."
- Isaiah 40:31

here i come

"Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask for in prayer believing, ye shall receive."

-Matthew 21: 21-22

in anticipation

honour:
will thou speaketh in defence?
for thou hath commited sins
far beyond the depths of redemption

defence:
shalt not, your honour;
let thy punishment befall unto thee
for then will thee see and repent

honour:
however much thee hath said
someone else hath paid the price
freedom onto thee, shalt thee pass.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son Jesus Christ, that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life"
- John 3:16

spiritual me.
totally.

bout of depression<<

flung wide open the gates were at the sound of the bell,
interior streams flowed into the rivers of people;
in this mysterious world of emotions and feelings
why then do we immerse ourselves sometimes in it?
when in the back of our small finite minds, we know
that we can never control let alone subdue it;
feelings and emotions ran high clinching top positions
in the atmosphere of the soul where few have reached.
fatigue got the better of me, forcing my world of imaginations
to unleash its deepest darkest powers of reminding me
of the past- history: what a bore, but yet it brought back pain.
holocaust this was not, for only tender 17years old i am, it was more..
the world suddenly lost its meaning, its divine purpose
as it slowly dashed past before my very windows to the soul.
companions, brethen i have ignored. the face showed it all.
then she came back; this time like a huge river whose dams were
broken, began to flood my thoughts, overcoming my physical state.
help- i struggled through. sitting on the veranda, i stared.
nothing was tangible. but nothing was stopping me.
but it was so real. so futuristic. ah- there goes my emotions again...
i guess i'm just splashing around in the water of this ever so
tiny river of emotions;
in this big Big BIG world of feelings
where i hold no reins to it. absolutely.

ignorance

with a turn of the head
i was chucked away
at the corner of your eye.
you ignored me.

maybe ignorance is bliss.

triute to mr ong. thnx!

in the multitudes of people
that passes me every morning
few has touched let alone
enlighten the very soul that keeps me
alive.

few such as these;
reyneth, bryan, keun ho, samuel, taoyat,
jason, jueluo, jonathanlim, cherli, izzat,
kanghao, muzzhafar, shenyean, sean.
but more so for outgoing mr ong.

with wit and humour
you have brightened the darkest days
opening the heavens of our moods,
you have brought smiles on our faces
into our lives.

the years we spent
in this simple but yet complex relationship
has seen the young buds bloom in
their full blossom producing fruits, the fruit
of your labour too.

may this dinner
be our way of saying thanks from our hearts
cliche it may be, but our feelings that
accompany it shall speak doth words. action
does not.

to our dearest mr ong:
we wish you all the best in your future plans
may this friendship here it does not end
for till the day we meet once more,
or through a simple phone call,
sir, please forget us not we pray
as we go forth our own seperate ways
in flesh, we may be apart
but let the Victorian Spirit unite us all with one heart.

a walk to remember

open up thy ears and listen
to the following words.
believe me like the fact of
the south migrating birds.

walking alone from the train station
to the warmth of home
an hour and a half that's all it took
much shorter for that of a gnome.

singing praises to the One above
it brought me great joy.
but once i started talking about family
in fear, i started to recoil.

no anger burned in thy heart
for thy love was denied a thousand times
since chances is what they do not plead for
on what account should i not mime.

ignorance is bliss
blessed is the soul who cares not
better is ignorance than a crossfire
with the likelihood that you would be shot

dead.

now as i sit on the couch
as we near the month of december
of cold winter of the heart and soul
it would definitely be a walk to remember.

evening of music and drama: vs<<

i must say going to school today was a total bore and a drag. no meaning wan lahx, lemme tell you why: had econs lect in the morning (ie. totally a chiongster...), then had gp double tutorial which as usual is the ultimate slack course, then had break then physics tutorial of which mr lee didn't come so mr michael lim had to take over (ie. cable guy) then had chem lect of which i think none of them weren't listening, just yacking and yacking away, even the lecturer couldn't do anything.. i think he go home and cry le. hahaha. okok. i won't be that mean>>> then again, maybe i am; oh.. that naughty playful small sec 1 boy is back in the house! after that, had econs make up tutorial; got back my econs assignment essay, totally a 4/25 marks. i was like WTH. yepps. eyes waaaaaaaaide open, yeah, go imagine. after that grueling coming to terms with reality, had physics practical makeup, not too bad lahx. did a debriefing of the previous expt, then did an expt on electricity. i LOVE electricity expts... maybe due to the amts of cables i work with... hahhaa. :)

anyway, the point of this whole thing is to share with you guys how impressive emd-vs was. the evening of music and drama kicked off with a jazz band (actually its just a group of 7ppl from the concert band playing a jazz piece) which i must admit is not reallly very good, but i guess it'll suffice. then it went to the nicholas kang monologue. man.. that was awesome! the accents and the jokes ahh... cannot tahan lahx- damn good lahx! hahhaa. after which there was a play about an artist and his works, a bit the no meaning wan lahx the storyline, but the acting was not bad. not bad at all. at least i could understand the flow of the story. but if a bit more emotions and feelings, i think it'd be MUCh better. then there was the jamming band with suwei singing 2 songs. not bad lahx, considering them to be amateurs... as in cannot be compared to our batch's bands lahx. ours are like superb! hahha. but it was good. oh. martin's monologue was fantastically fantastic! i'd give 2thumbs up with no hesitation. real good acting and drama. hahaha. a wide range of play of genre acted out. very nicely done. overall: first half was good!

second half really pale in comparison to the first half. it started with thechinese orchestra which performed a chinese song. well i personally dun really enjoy chinese songs, so i didn't really fancy it. on top of that, somebody came out to sing the song, i was like SPARE ME>> help. nvm that. another drama of which there was toooooo much talking, quite dull. then it was the king arthur and the knights play which featured nicholas kang and martin.. i was expecting something classy and funny, but it was a disappointment to me. yepps. nicholas was good, acting as the queen, but martin: he was just a knight. argh. infuriating.

overall, it was awesome.
oh, the jamming band did the school cheer as a song. very very nice. hahaha. cool stuff. hahaha. anyway, we hadthe victorian anthem, the normal cheering, and yeah, that ended my day.

waaaaaaaaait. not ended yet.
they went down to the lift and did somemore cheers. hahaa.
that was a good end to a good start of the concert,
kudos to all!

that lonesome road

with my back against the panel
cold, hard and pressing
i sat half-legged,
staring into the open space in front of

me.
i spoke no words
for even if i did, nothing would come out
for the hours before this,
i thought you were forgotten
or at least squashed back there
in the half-used up brain, but i was so so so

wrong.
so very very
very very
very
wrong.
you reappeared in your form of beauty
i miss you so badly but yet
it's not possible. it probably wouldn't work out.
or maybe it would not at all.
i've moved on with life,
out of the cold hard pressing seat,
the future may seem so unsure and playful
but i know one thing's for sure,
i'm walking down a very
lonesome road.

pushing myself is a push itself

i must admit that these 2 days of school really needed a great push of myself. since sunday after chorale's concert, i didn't want to go back to school on monday. dreading it because i had chem mock spa skill A of which i didn't study for, it was so darn obvious i had to resort to several of my ancient havent-been-touched-for-a-long-time tricks of Sec 2 to help me along. woah- the feeling was as if i was living in the war times, where someone is watching every single move you make. scary eh? hahaha.

just coming to school was a drag.
it was just bad.

wanna noe something new? i'm back at pasir ris to blog this entry. not that everything here has returned to normal, but rather this place just serves to be an alternative home for me. so now i rotate around 2 homes, one at marine parade, the other at pasir ris. hahaha. the reason why i came back tonight was because i wanted to get my levi jeans- going out tml mahx. hahha. so must wear nice nice. damn, i sound naggy.

now that they are talking to me, i don't want to respond. i can't be bothered. not that i'm being petty over ancient issues, but as i blogged before, the incident of my falling sick was the last straw, i cannot take it lahx. really. and now that they are trying to talk to me, well... i find it so fake. not that i dun want them to talk to me, but the point is: bah! i dunnoe. actually the point is that they lost my trust, my faith, my belief that they would change. they went out at 10pm dunnoe for wat, didn't tell me the reason, jut left the house telling me only that they were going out. well, heck. carnt be bothered. they just came back, again without saying anything to me. except for my dad who asked me whether i needed to go to school tml. i couldn't be the least bothered about it, so just gave one word answers. settled. my mum comes and asks the SAME question. tell me about being fake. i didn't respond at all.

to resolve things here, i tell you the truth.
i don't think it will ever happen.
i've done what i could.
not yet a burden or a liability
more of an irritant.

sorry. i just needed to blog about this whole shit again.

some last pe.

year 2s had their gp prelims exam today, i heard it was tough, and to some extent its quite true lahx. on frist look, i really wouldn't know what question to do lohx. hahaha. one about fearing art and tv, and another talking about whether females should continue to portray themselves as the weaker sex. i was telling suelynn that the gp paper machiam a NUS social science paper. really wat- nothing about science lahx. all about society and society and... alright fine, it was also abotu behaviour. but who cares? it still falls under the social science category. hahaha.

but its so exciting!

NUS/ UniMelb social science department! taking their papers and stuff...

in due time, it'll be my turn! :)

so exciting right?

had pe today. hahha. last pe somemore, till after the promos for us. like omgosh right? how time flies. ahhaha. but everything started out damn slow lahx. we were asked to like take down the national flags after national day. hahaha. so yea, we walked out of school, carrying the state flag like some warrior, damn fun lahx. after that, we had inter-class games. there was floorball, soccer, rugby?, basketball, all sorts lahx. hahaha. so the majority of the class played floorball and i must say it was AWESOME! played against 05S28, and thrashed them 8-3! like omgosh! hahhaa. so damn awesome. everybody was playing liek super fast, i scored 2 goals, dan too. francis was assisted and scored tons also. was awesome lahx. the whole thing! LOL. it was real fast play lahx. the other half of the class (ie. the other team) took like 7mins to score 3goals. hahaha. damn fun lahx. hahaha. passing was like darn good, speed was there, shooting was super accurate. wth, it was just awesome. hahaha.

if only there was an inter-class games day after promos.

05S43: champions in floorball.

no need to imagine or dream.

i believe it will come true.

mwahahha! listening to "making love out of nothing at all" by Air Supply.

romantic song seh- LOL. with all the electric guitar and drums, but hey the lyrics are like- WOAH!

gonna listen to "two less lonely people in this world" also by AIr Supply like... now.

to dan: hey, this song is dedicated to ya dude!

really good talking to ya again and knowing we're in the same situation,

made me feel a lot better knowing that there's someone out there

who really understands how i feel.

bro, i want you to know that you're in my prayers,

take care dude! catch up soon yea?

you always tell me this and i say the same to you now:

hakuna matata.

time is really the test of true friendship.

if after a preiod of time not communicating with one another,

and you find yourself being still able to talk about the same things you talked about before the seperation,

well that's true friendship- knowing that there's this person out

there who cares for and understands you

thanks dan.

reminiscing.

like how time flies. it was just in may that i saw rey, bryan and kh, and now seeing them and having dinner with them again, the feeling's like wow. besides, we met up in vs first -alma mater, thy sons are we before going to dinner. met sanjay in school, talked a whole lot of cock and crap but hey it's 4B'04, what can i say man?

been quite mad today. had pizza hut lunch after chem lecture, a record no. of 17 people came. like WOW. hahaha. thinking math make up tuorial was at 2pm thanks to cam, we left the hut at 2.05pm. hahaha. mr wong call seh like a big shot. hahha. damn funny, then we rushed back to school. hahahaha. reached there in time, well i suppose. hahhaa

anyway, i'm, freaking tired now.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...

damn tired lahx

damn tired today. slept at 1am last night, woke up at 6.30am, machiam a 5hour sleep seh. argh. slept during physics lecture, not surprising. i reckoned the whole LT was sleeping lahx. haix. one by one, all the people in my row started to sleep. hahaha. me, chinchong, waihan, mingfern, yawen... all slowly knocked off. ahhaha. damn funny. ahhaha. but seriously lahx. the lecturer machiam like a jigglypuff lahx. sing a lullaby. wah liew. sian... cannot don't sleep wan lohx. haix. *shakes head.

oh. i'm so infatuated with romeo and juliet. i dunno why. the words, the emotions and the feelings evoked in the story were like WOW to me. woah. mind-blowing. hahaha. damn nice. love scene 2, act 2 especially. so sweet and romantic. like WOW. ahhaha. never fails to impress me. i've tempted to read king henry IV next. i dunno why. hahhaa. but that was the supposed book that the ministry put on the web when i was searching for the literature core syllabus in sec 2. that was why i didn't take lit core. damn. hahaha. so misleading. instead they did twelth night. hahaha. i did julius ceaser in S2, was typically fun. ahhaha.

so lit-ty-fied today. hahaha.
enjoy!
[ w h a t i d o n ' t k n o w ]

crapped up message---> not the nat'l day message.

i so happened to chance upon my alma mater's website today just to awaken my sleeping senses to the new message from the principal himself in response to all the buzz that the report of vs turning co-ed caused. to me: its bullshit. don't come up with excuses for it. even my classmates who so happened to be NOT from vs agreed with me without hesitation. surprise me.

the authority has stated that the media has "distorted our purpose and intent" of the proposal of changing the way of teaching in the school. what a load of crap. the new paper's report on the 19 Aug 2005 clearly stated that "MOE confirmed receiving the proposal and said it had asked the school to submit a detailed proposal of its overall long-term plan for evaluation.". so what "distortion" is he talking about? what change of teaching is he referring to? its basically a bull. damn it. what do you mean by you cannot "reveal the full contents of the draft"? after all this has happened WHILE YOU WERE IN CHINA, i think we deserve a better explanation. do borrow the question asked by my tutor today, "want to give excuses also must think lah..", your excuses are a full load of crap. and hell yea, i'm getting angry.

victorians cannot be comfortable with the possibility of us going co-ed. that's the problem. if remaking vs means turning vs to a co-ed school. please don't use the school name anymore. change it. it is of great pride to the alumnus and it would be a great shame if girls were to use that name as their alma mater in time to come.

to readers: sorry for th language used. but frankly, such languages are reserved for times such as these.

sick. damn it.

argh. fell sick last night around 11pm like that. came out of the shower feeling damn cold. damn it. then i had to study for chem lecture test today, so i took the jacket and went to the living room, huddled in the couch and studied there. of course slept lahx. damn it. hahaha. but managed to cover quite a bit. so i guess it wasn't that wasted after all.

no panadol at home, so i took the kiddy paracetemol. physicians/ aspiring doctors dun fault me for calling it kiddy. felt a bit better this morn. supposed to have pe and wanted to go. ain't i dumb? but i didn't lahx. thnx to sam and dajie. stayed up at the canteen to continue studying for the chem test. i'm such a mugger. still felt sick and feeling crap. yea.

had chem mock spa for skill B, something i didn't study for. damn. so i went it without any idea how to do thwe report, but thank God, He sustained me through. so time passed by like that. didn't get to finish the report- a few words left. but heck. then had chinese which i must miraculously say was pretty fun. hahaha. am i turning cheena-fied? but it was funny and good lohx. at least that kept me awake. hahaha. she let us off 10 mins earlier for us to revise chem test- awesome! then had chem lecture test. finished the paper, but not all the questions. such an irony! hmmm. but point is, i did my best, gave my all, and now pray for the best.

i'm still feeling sick- slight chest pains. headaches. a bit of joint pains. btu thank God: not feeling cold.

still feeling irritated at the vs turning co-ed thing. it aches my heart everytime i hear or see of it.

dun you even think i've forgotten about it.

-nil sine labore-

vs going co-ed? i will NEVER say yes.

what an irony! you guys still recall doing an english essay on the pros and cons of schools becoming co-ed? to think that we are actually bringing in those points into this situation. what an irony!

if beating DHS is all that we care about, well i think there would be no end to this 'competition'. it is a pretty obvious fact taht vs can not only do substantially well in the academics but also excel in the various ccas. after beating dhs, who can we beat? ri? rgs? chs? sji? and after becoming the top school eventually in singapore, who can we challenge? regional schools? international schools? there is no end to such competition.

it is meaningless to thus talk about how becoming co-ed allows vs to rise up the rankings. we are basically arguing over something so simple. such an action will only bring about short term effects? what about long term?

what about our 129 years of fine tradition of being an all-boys school. and for that matter, the only government all- boys school? where is the pride that victorians have? its disappointing to know that old victorians could possible have fueled such ideas into actions. it only goes to show that we take pride in this instituition only when it is going through the good times. but what about times such as these? do we go co-ed at the expense of our rich tradition and culture? it has taken literally hundreds of batches of boys to bring us thus far. doing such things will only nullify all the efforts of the old victorians.

once a victorian, always a victorian. i wonder who will find pride in this school if the proposal was accepted, knowing the vs that we once knew is never the same again.

if the proposal is accepted, let us wait another 129 years for the new batches of students to realise that whatever they've done is equivalent to zero.

then they'll know and finally understand what the 129 years of past batches are feeling now.

NIL SINE LABORE

accomplished feelings

to dan: hey bro! hahha. know you're pretty upset over chinese and stuff, but hey look on the bright side yea? i dunno whether you wanna retake it, but hey anything's possible. marie got a pass for orals and a b3, but in the nov paper she got an A2. so yea bro- anything's possible. do your best, look to God for that's where your help comes from dude! remember your fav verse? haah. ~yea~ things have been gng on pretty alright here... not much development. hahahaha. but its been real good hearing from ya again!

back to today's entry

and so i slept at 1am last night, preparing stuff for cell, realising how much fun it was to prepare and type out worksheets for them to complete. hahaa. thriller. woke up at 9am this morning, a miracle really for me to be able to do that! went church, normal stuff. yea. 3pm service was ablast! jerry played the piano and the synthe at the same time lahx. like how cool is that? hahhaa. damn fun. then glenn, roberto, ray and girlie- wooohooo! real God-given talents. hahaha. Praise God for them! hahha.

went macs after 7pm service to do a bit of homework. so proud of myself! i finished complex numbers and my econs data response qns! hahha. feeling so accomplished now. hahha.

but yet there isn't a smile on my face.
i wonder why?

hello innerself and my emotions!

this is the third time i'm writing this entry. from proper entries to a poem
well, here it goes:

an empty bottle
lies at the bottom of the seas
with nothing inside
not even water.

even the fishes
know where they belong at
something so basic
something so simple.

uncomprehendable
inexplicable.
its happened. and yes its true.
i am that bottle.

happy national day *the ratzmatazz*

and so it was; waking up at 10am to pass the red tie to senior william who needed it urgently at tampines mrt station. took a bus 10 down not realising the air con wasn't exactly working, so i sorta perspired like a sauna. yea- that bad. alighted at concourse, took a 16 to somerset to meet vs4b classmates. really excited to see them after such a long period of time. [ then again come to think of it, last time i saw them was in may. is that long? ] so anyway, i was an hour early. so i went window shopping at wisma and heeren before meeting them to catch Wedding Crashers.

the movie aside first, lemme run through my day.

after the movie, went walking around at taka, not doing anything much but just eating like swines. hahah. i had an auntie anne's pretzel. [damn, that sounded pretty wrong. but hey- where were we?] then went to centrepoint to have dinner; rey and i at the starhub centre foodcourt, while kh, elias and bryan went macs. they da bao, while rey and i had it there and then. proceeded to raffles city to watch the fireworks. real cool this year. ended off with a real big bang! love fireworks! hahah. the glamour and the glitz [ can be used vice versa right? ] was really quite spectacular. but knowing me, i always feel that no matter how good people may say, there are always improvements to be made. i'll jsut list them out yea?

1. why not have speakers/ amplifiers along the streets so that others [ who are unfortunately deprived of a seat; like me ] can enjoy the music. i mean suntec city has a convenient television placed strategically along the roads so that people can view the live telecast. what's the point of having pictures but no sound? besides, if there were speakers and amplifiers i feel more Singaporeans can sing the national anthem together. don't gimme the crap that we won't sing it > who knows? nobody experimented. during the fireworks display, there were a few foreigners around me. they watched the display without much content and satisfaction, probably cause they saw something similar or even better displays in their homeland? wat could probably make the difference - making SIngapore with the X-factor - i wonder.


2. i was just wondering if it was ever possible to have the Singapore Airlines/ SilkAir plane to do a aerial display too. not that sorta fly in a circle stunts, but just simple flying across. i mean its been a bore to see the same old things over and over again be it on land or in the sky, something different could change the atmosphere yea? like instead of the chinook carrying the flag, why can't our national airline carry it? just a possibility. yeah.


and so we have it. now back to my day. after the display, wanted to play pool at hotel meridian? but walked in the opposite direction towards bugis. woah! big difference eh? hahah. so we ended up in parco not accomplishing a lot. but hey- bryan got a litle sick, so bro: if you're reading this, hope you're alright by now? :)

we now return to the movie.

quite a funny show actually. but revolting to know that people actually laugh when they remember the scenes. not that its wrong to recall scenes, but to laugh at that sort of content... well it speaks a lot of how society has changed from a predominantly conservative one to a bold experimental and adventurous one. story was cliche, but nonetheless heartwarming [ a bit lahx ]. but true love is when the lives of 2 people meet at a juncture where their souls intertwine and become as one unit. that's wat i learnt. be yourself. that's probably one of the greatest gifts you can give to your partner, other than your unconditional love care and concern. yea.but crashing weddings to get girls?

get a life.

class gathering today's turnout was MUCH MUCH better than the past events. yeah. was really fun just mingling with all of them! woohoo-
05S43 ROX

yeah. was really cool stuff. after dinner and batman [we watched 3 movies- mr and mrs smith, initial D and batman begins!], we went out to kembangan mrt field there. zy, dan, tim and francis played soccer on the field, while zihua, karfu, louisa and i were just talking on the pavement. hahaha. was fun jsut crapping around the phone and the mp3 players. hahaha. supposed to have countdown to our nation's bdae lohx. but then right... we play and play and play so much that we forgot all bout it. LOLX. so never mind lohx. just prank call ppl. hahaha. first was ms rajan- call le, she pick up, first thing she hear is some "happy national day!" machiam like her bdae like taht. so no meaning lohx. hahaha. but it was just plain fun crapping around. then nxt was cam. first time call him, he kena du lan. hahaha. then second time, he knew it was francis pranking the call. hahaha. damn slack- he claimed he was tired... hmmm... *we wonder*

but it was just fun. nth but just plain fun. hahaha.

left that place at about 12.20am? yeah- about there lahx. lol. reached home at bout 1am. haha. so anyway, there's no buses serving the district this late, so it was either i took a cab, walk home or run home. hahaha. i just had this conviction of running today. so you know wat? i RAN home from the mrt station, carrying a sling bag of which it kept swinging front and back not really allowing me to run properly. so i reached home in13mins. hahaha. not bad le lahx. carry sling bag, never stop halfway. hahaha. if you guys know where mj is, well that's the dist i ran. hahaha.

the one-am run home.

class gathering today's turnout was MUCH MUCH better than the past events. yeah. was really fun just mingling with all of them! woohoo-
05S43 ROX

yeah. was really cool stuff. after dinner and batman [we watched 3 movies- mr and mrs smith, initial D and batman begins!], we went out to kembangan mrt field there. zy, dan, tim and francis played soccer on the field, while zihua, karfu, louisa and i were just talking on the pavement. hahaha. was fun jsut crapping around the phone and the mp3 players. hahaha. supposed to have countdown to our nation's bdae lohx. but then right... we play and play and play so much that we forgot all bout it. LOLX. so never mind lohx. just prank call ppl. hahaha. first was ms rajan- call le, she pick up, first thing she hear is some "happy national day!" machiam like her bdae like taht. so no meaning lohx. hahaha. but it was just plain fun crapping around. then nxt was cam. first time call him, he kena du lan. hahaha. then second time, he knew it was francis pranking the call. hahaha. damn slack- he claimed he was tired... hmmm... *we wonder*

but it was just fun. nth but just plain fun. hahaha.

left that place at about 12.20am? yeah- about there lahx. lol. reached home at bout 1am. haha. so anyway, there's no buses serving the district this late, so it was either i took a cab, walk home or run home. hahaha. i just had this conviction of running today. so you know wat? i RAN home from the mrt station, carrying a sling bag of which it kept swinging front and back not really allowing me to run properly. so i reached home in13mins. hahaha. not bad le lahx. carry sling bag while running, so late- must be tired, never stopped halfway somemore! hahhaa. so fun lahx.
if you guys know how far mrt station is to mj, yea. that was the distance i ran.

my first experience running on the roads with a sling bag without stopping. yea.
real cool. hahhaa.
- turning into a sporty person. woohoo!

" Lord empower me;
like a rushing rive flowing to the sea.
Lord send you holy spirit flowing out through me
Till i'm living as your child- victorious and free
send the power of you love, Empower me. "

i tried- i really did.

i really tried to return to my old self of singlehood.
not that i was attached before.
but the feelings that accompany them
- argh. it aches me.

seeing you was funnily strange.
talking to you, well i cannot explain.
but one thing's for sure
i've not forgotten you.

the feelings that i had
still remain bottled up inside
though i've handed this to the almighty God,
i've still cannot forget.

Lord, teach me how to let go.
it ain't easy, now i know.
thanks for the revelation of truth.
now help me forget.

please.
please please.
i don't want to see this friendship go
down down down
down down
down
:
please.

words. the power of it.

i dunno. i just had this feeling to do this today and i dunno why. but i'll follow my instincts.

to ben: sorry i made that remark that day. dunno whether you still remember, but i won't post it up here. i was just being cranky and all. i know it might not be a good reason to explain my remarks, but i really felt quite bad saying it to you. sorry yeah?

damn. throat's getting worse.
buit by His stripes will we be
made WHOLE.

physics spa tml. *gasps*

physics spa's on tomorrow and i'm as tired as a... errr.. monkey? hahha. to think i can still retain my humour at this sort of situation. but at least i studied. so gonna chiong for it tml. mwahahaha! laughing is good. especially when you're stressed. but i'm not stressed- does that mean i cannot laugh? but shouldn't laughing be a natural thing when you see something funny happening? then again, how do you define funny? F U N N Y- well that to some may be funny, but to me, well its mild. real mild. tickle me elmo. elmo laughs. maybe he's stressed too. maybe because he broke up with grover, his hairy pal. or maybe he's stressed over the work schedules- you know higher demand for sesame street, that's why he has to supply more jokes so as to make the kids in school laugh? maybe this is the true reason why people study economics. to study how elmo and his sesame street gang work. so that's for the american economists. the japanese economists will study pokemon and digimon work behaviour and attitudes towards their jobs as celebrities. laughing is only when you're stressed?

don't be silly.
i'm just deluded.

- throat hurts.
waiting for you sweet kiss of relief.
mmmmmmm.
nice.

some naming game.

munch. munch. munch.

[ having dinner at the com ]

had pe today. and as usual mr wee gave me a new name.

darrel.
terrence.
joshua.
jared.
daniel.

i wonder wat's next.

oh. thank you you mr wee.

weird... so very weird.. the feeling's just not right.

just weird. very very funnily weird. i just didn't feel right when i saw her again. didn't talk to one another. just simple hi's and bye's. and no, my heart didn't beat any faster. just felt so darn weird.

manned the whole entire soundboard for 7pm service today! woohoo- was super fun lahx. thank God for giving me the oppurtunity man! hahaha. real cool stuff. hahaha. and oh, 3pm service's praise and worship was a blast! really cool- could feel the whole presence of God there. really cool. haven't had such an atmosphere for a long long long time le. yepps.

FESTIVAL OF PRAISE! mwahahaha. this friday, sat and sun. meeting cell for 2 nights, of which the first night i'll be split between cell and choir. hahhaa. choir also inviting friends along. hahaha. so fun so fun. hahaha.

to dan and jer.gan: just wanna invite you for this Festival Of Praise. its a Christian music event, really good music, and yeah some of the choir ppl and i are going, and i just wanna cordially invite you 2 to come join us for this spectacular annual event. yepps. really really cool stuff- rockerfied! hahaha. sms me your reply yea? cheer-os!

careers fair thingy.... dotdotdot

i must say today's career fair really killed some of my interest in some of the scholarships that i was actually aiming for in the past. i was actually aiming for either the MOE teaching scholarship or the CAAS scholarship, but then theire booths at the careers fair today in school was more that disappointing- it killed my interest for it. ok... not so for the moe one, but still there are others i would want to work towards to.

the singapore power scholarship seemed interesting, as in the stuff you do there. initially i had my doubts of getting a scholarship from singapore power, but now, the officers there are nice enough to at least talk to me unlike SOME booths' officers. woohoo! oh- the one i'm working to is the FIREfly scholarship, then subsequently work in STB. woohoo! the job seemed enticing enough for me to take, besides i can do wat i wana do most- the arts and social science! hahah. so fun. went to the GIC booth, the first booth i went to, so being new to such stuff i just ook the goodie baggie and then ask a few duh qns then walk off. i don't regret it. i don't wanna work in a company which deals with money. irritating. how you spend the money on this and on that, what are the benefits, will there be profits made, etc. ARGH! yeps. my sentiments exactly.

checked out the universities booths- quite sure i'm staying in singapore for my first degree. yepps. and that would be NUS. cause i wanna do arts and social science, i'd rather go NUS than NTU lahx. thinking of doing economics/ political science. engineering would be my second choice. yepps. then i was thinking of going to either the UK or Aus for my honours/ masters. jamie asked me to go aus with her. hmm.. see how lahx sister! hahhaa. but yea. that's wat i was thinking to do.

so if i get the FIREfly scholarship, i'll work with them for permanently. but if i don't, i'll get a arts and social science degree, then join SIA as an air steward, after that come out to do teaching. yepps. it'd be so fun. woohoo! actually i'm still looking forward to be an air steward lohx. hahaha. so fun. hahhaa.

see where the Lord will place me- i will go.