i realised how deep i always seem to submerge myself in my mellow train of thoughts as the people around me start to talk about their relationships and what-nots. it seems depressing to be in that frame of mind and no matter how hard i try to conceal it behind an emotionless mask, it always appears apparent to the very source themselves. sometimes being in such a wild world of odd fantasies isn't that bad after all. or so i thought; i've always believed in thinking straight roads out of a whole mess of them, and i suppose it does help- make it worse that is. it's odd isn't it that for a lad like me who has never had a problem with speaking excessively since his primary school days to be silenced at the dreaded topic of relationships. it's not a ploy to garner sympathy from those who are just so willing to share it, simply because first i don't need such sympathy, and secondly i think this whole idea of a ploy is just revolting, period. it's times like these when i start to ask my inner self why do i even allow myself to sink so low just because of some failed attempt. i don't get angry at myself or the other party and neither do i get sorrowful at the thought, i just simply soak myself in the depressing atmosphere. nobody's at fault, not even you.