correct me if i'm wrong but recently i've been talking to my budds and i've realised how mellow our conversations were as compared to the hearty chatty chats that we would use to have in the most ungodly hours. marie, the new smu undergrad, mentioned to me before that the guys she knew in school told her that they 'sorta' became more mature after army; simply because they 'had too much time to think about life'. there are implications to this. at the personal level, maybe the suddenly-changed mellow conversations are a result of this "maturity"; maybe as we all "mature" we lose our laughs and just that bit of our personality gets lost in the fray as well. or maybe it has made us hide a certain portion of ourselves from the public eye. i miss those days where we used to have 'hahahaha-s' all the way throughout the conversation or even the random LOL that we used to throw in once in a while. not forgetting the very subjects of school, life, love or work in our daily conversations. does the army really make us mature in this aspect then; make us grow up; or make us any better humans in this society? right now, i'm left wondering whether those who read this, agree with the statement at hand. then again, would this even be considered as "mature"?

i realised how deep i always seem to submerge myself in my mellow train of thoughts as the people around me start to talk about their relationships and what-nots. it seems depressing to be in that frame of mind and no matter how hard i try to conceal it behind an emotionless mask, it always appears apparent to the very source themselves. sometimes being in such a wild world of odd fantasies isn't that bad after all. or so i thought; i've always believed in thinking straight roads out of a whole mess of them, and i suppose it does help- make it worse that is. it's odd isn't it that for a lad like me who has never had a problem with speaking excessively since his primary school days to be silenced at the dreaded topic of relationships. it's not a ploy to garner sympathy from those who are just so willing to share it, simply because first i don't need such sympathy, and secondly i think this whole idea of a ploy is just revolting, period. it's times like these when i start to ask my inner self why do i even allow myself to sink so low just because of some failed attempt. i don't get angry at myself or the other party and neither do i get sorrowful at the thought, i just simply soak myself in the depressing atmosphere. nobody's at fault, not even you.

can someone please tell me if there was yet again another furore regarding the recently concluded PSLE, cause i chanced upon a letter written by some authoritative personnel from the Examinations Board in the Forum page in the Straits Times?

i briefly recall the last time something this major cropped up for a PSLE was way back in the year 2000. that was when i, or rather we were just primary six.

that seemed so long ago until i suddenly recalled of yet another issue regarding the Biology paper in the 2004 O- Levels, and guess what i, or rather we were just secondary six.

and if that seemed closer, i once again self-inflicted a forceful reminder on myself of yet another issue. this time it was related to the Chinese 'A' paper and that took place in the 2006 A- Levels and guess what i or rather, we were just year twos in college.

so looking back at all these timely events,

is there a link that can be derived?

or could it be mere coincidence?

still, it's been such a long while.

have you read the lyrics of

'home' by daughtry?

/I'm staring out into the night,

Trying to hide the pain.

I'm going to the place where love

And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain/

in about two days' time it would mark the fourth month since my arrival here. after all these days here, money has no longer been the issue. you know how people would gawk upon the knowledge of my allowance cum pay and expect me to stay in taiwan simply for the money? well it has no longer been the case really. i'm not denying that it was not a push factor for me, and for that matter for everyone else who's here, to go overseas but after all these while, you've been away from the familiar home those pressed notes simply don't mean a thing.

/Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all/

i remember how much i wanted to be the few to be able to go overseas after learning from my instructors that a selected few would be chosen eventually. till today i don't believe that coming up here has been mere coincidence or fate but was rather a plan of God for me to live in. everyday i spend here is a new day of fresh opportunities for me to live in His will. well i guessed i did get it all eventually.

/Oh, well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old.

I said these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

I'm going home/

i guess the chorus just said all that i needed to say,

period.

this is going to be big-
RAWR.

just read off the internet regarding the latest Airbus-380 arriving at Changi Airport and with all the pomp and ceremony i'm feeling the pinch just because i'm not back home to enjoy her arrival. just the excitement of this plane's arrival is just, if i were to exaggerate, overwhelming. so that's cause one for rawr-ing.

as i continued following the news related to the new Singapore Airlines A380 plane, i also, very most unfortunately, found out of their latest suite classes. well if you think first class sounds all posh and glam already, check this out and checked that out i did. imagine a fairly large cubicle all to yourself, with a luxurious bed and a plush mattress for you to lay upon at night during those horrid long haul flights, well that'd be heaven in the skies. watched the promotional videos on the national carrier's website and i must say pride wasn't really the first thing i felt; in fact i felt like crap. here i am sitting on a hard backless stool and there in front of me on the screen is a plush wide-bodied seat. and that would naturally sum up cause two for my rawr-ing.

i still want to join singapore airlines.

and that's cause three.

there we were,

mr lee, mr tan, mr woo and

lieutenant cheok.

sometimes it brings me to wonder when someone i know have decided or rather are deciding to sign on in the armed forces. but everytime i do so i'm also reminded that i once did consider. did is the keyword friends. i did consider before, but i suppose times and situations have changed and since then i have dropped those now-seemingly ridiculous ideas.

thank you francis,

you got me thinking again.

生命太短明日无限远

始终都不比永远这样远

不理会世上长路太多终点太少

木马也要去继续转圈

was on the streets just now

and i just want to say
I MISS YOU

to these people who crossed my mind.

I MISS YOU... mark sim

(after watching some rugby world cup match);

I MISS YOU... kenny

(after realising that my relatives are flying home);

I MISS YOU... rachel

(for all the things you've done for cell, thank you again)

for the others not mentioned,

this was just an on-the-streets thing.

no worries, you guys are not forgotten.

a gust of wind just blew across my window

bringing a handful of brown leaves over here.

then it died,

those leaves actually had tiny brown wings.

HELLO SUPER-TYPHOON.

yet another typhoon arrives;

a super-typhoon to be exact really,

bringing along strong winds and torrential rains.

我仍然还是这么无赖，其实习惯就好了啦。

回归是自然的
只是我的时间还未到。

this is going to sound gay,

but i miss daniel.

you guys back home really have no idea what just one word from you means. it not only reassures us, or at least me, that the people whom i've left back home are not only safe but blessed as well. it reaffirms my position here in this foreign land that i am after all one who is here for a brief stay, neither a citizen nor a permanent resident. it is then justified to say how much i miss you fellas back home whenever you talk to me online, on the phone, or through whatever means that is available to you. you know at times, the silence from you can really drive me nuts and if not being able to see you is bad enough, tell me about not talking to you. everytime we connect, memories of yesterday unrestrainedly come flooding back.

but i do wish that every conversation

we have today be a memory for the future.

i miss all of you back home,

and i look forward to your arrival.

*beams*