this entry is one of the few that is written immediately after i feel and/ or see something special to me. this entry is particularly special because it reminds me of many things- things that i tend to forget with time but can never be erased, not even a spot of it lost. it is an entry written after i watched short running segments of the korean movie jibeuro about the unconditional and sacrificial love of a grandmother who lived in the rural areas for her city-influenced grandson.

i must admit that there were some tearjerking moments which took me very much back in time when i was still a young lad. i saw myself alive in that boy, always kicking up a big fuss at home with my grandma; and even if i didn't, she would always give me what i wanted. i never appreciated her, that's a fact, but i sure wished i did. i remember the times when we would both go marketing at the local supermarket and i always wanted sushi. but despite her frugality, she always gave me what i wanted. at times, i threw my temper at her; other times, ganged up with my sister and other cousin against her, giving her the stress that she never needed. i never really appreciated her or what she had done for me. she coached me in my mandarin, taught my cantonese, cooked me the most wonderful fish that till today no one can replicate, and most importantly was always there for me when i needed her. she never chided me, not once but was always full of encouragement whenever i came back down and out. she believed so much in education, so much so that in her dying years i promised myself that i would do my utmost at my O Levels and make her proud. i did, eventually. i would never forget the day she left the world to be with the Lord, and how i woke up to the phone call. i would never forget the day i went over to her house the next morning. i would never forget her words of wisdom. i would never forget her unconditional love for me. i would never forget and i will not forget. everything she did was for me and sometimes i hate myself for being so warped in my pre-adolescent immature state of mind that i became oblivious to everything. no tears now, not even now, will bring her back. nothing will or can bring her back, and everything that is left are just memories stolen from time. memories that will never be forgotten. they will not be.

i will not forget.

i love you grandma.

you know i do.

oh hello there. i just came back from my winter tour down south to the mountainous regions and boy oh boy have i come back a deranged man. cause, simple. imagine yourself travelling down south for nearly 7 hours, stopping an hour just for lunch up the mountains; and then travelling another 8 hours down the mountain to yet another mountain; mind you, the timings here are all exclusive of the agonising time spent in the mountains with nothing but mother nature around you. but i must say, the last day spent at the theme park was enough to make everyone forget how horrid the journey must have been.
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speaking of deranged, i just have to write this down. C'MON AND SHOW OFF YOUR MIEN-OR! sorry, i just had to write that down. you know it's those random things you think of on a seemingly unending bus journey.
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there were a few things that i realised as well during this trip. jeremy, the senior medic was telling me the difference between a combatant and a service- serviceman. the difference, he said was, when combatants are faced with something physically and mentally challenging they are the first sot-sot ones to say "Let's go for it la! FUN what!" and i actually believe that the word in capitals is the keyword that defines you to be a combatant. oh wells, this is just a random comment so don't shoot me down you proud servicemen not drawing combat pay. HA!
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the other thing that got me thinking popped into my head when i was at the cultural theme park just a few hours ago. basically this theme park is like a hybrid of genting and err... the maori tribe villages, only that this theme park showcases nine of the thirteen aboriginal tribes of taiwan. so i was just thinking of how tourism actually diluted the pure culture of these tribes. odd isn't it, for me to think of these things in the middle of theme park where kids scream for ice cream and old ones hurridly buying those cones for them just to shut them up? but yes, i was so call me odd, i don't care. but then again, i also realised that we've come or are coming to a time and age where if tourism is suddenly taken away, due to those who fight for the rights of the aborigines and won, what would happen to these aborigines then? will their culture be revitalised again, or for that matter be completely lost forever as they realise that if tourism cannot put food on their table then they would have to move to the cities to work. is this one permanent smear or worse, damage that tourism has done to our society? believe you me, i'm a pro-tourism activist but these things just get me thinking.
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oh wells, these are just my random thoughts. in fact, i'm actually wondering how i'll respond to this ten years from now. or worse. if my kids see this entry. drats.

am now down south
winter tour to the mountains
and what's even better is -
this is just the icing on the cake.
lovely.

the australian open is now on
and i'm so gonna lap it all up.

05 jan / 1730h : touch down in taiwan; wait for philip

05 jan / 1950h : dinner; philip touch down

05 jan / 2100h : arrived back in camp

05 jan / 2105h : went to Hsinchu to catch American Gangster

06 jan / 0100h : movie ended; continue to nua outside

06 jan / 0200h : went back to camp; sleep

06 jan / 0900h : woke up FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON

06 jan / 1700h : went vegan for dinner (hey, it was free)

06 jan / 1900h : cut hair because of some obscene order

06 jan / 2100h : went vogue to celebrate jeremy's birthday; drank

07 jan / 0000h : went back to camp

07 jan / 0715h : fall in for 5bx, half cursing in the cold weather

07 jan / 1700h : work ended

07 jan / 1800h : hit the gym, pumping muscles-lol.

07 jan / 1900h : finished gyming, went back to bunk.

08 jan / 0715h : sore muscles, sore throat

08 jan / 2045h : went to bed

09 jan / 0230h : woke up FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON

09 jan / 0545h : woke up because of sore muscles

09 jan / 0715h : felt like crap.

09 jan / 0900h : did an ECG; jeremy gave me some medicine

09 jan / 2300h : went to bed

10 jan / 0200h : woke up FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON

10 jan / 0715h : woke up for 5bx; throat hurting; muscles less sore

10 jan / 1910h : typing this entry.

i actually had to find some time to sit down and think through what i wanted to write in this entry, which is really unlike the usual me blogging randomly about the random things that i see around me, so i suppose this entry will actually mean something after all. so i needed the time to think through, i also needed to find a time long enough for me to fill in the empty cyberwalls, thus explaining the huge delay in this entry. so i shall begin proper then.

these past two weeks of being home was truly a testament of God's assurance to me that when i leave Singapore to come here, He will not only bring me through my stint here but also take care of the people that i leave behind. it was thus very reassuring when i came home and saw these lovely jovial bunch of kids in my cell running helter-skelter in the most happy fashion when they saw me, albeit some blur ones. more of my cell in OUR blog there. but it was really good seeing everybody again, as if the phrase 'absence makes the heart grows fonder' came to life. it was just good, really. from the carolling to the random dinners to the random lunches, even to the random late night coffee at white sands, everything was just good. it's inevitable for someone like me who comes back on home leave to compare certain things such as food, fashion, looks, yadayadayada. But as i always mention to others, something more important, is that singapore is after all home, and for that, nothing beats being home. it's amazing what two weeks can do. just 15 days ago at this time, i arrived back on singapore soil, where half and hour later i started breathing singapore air. two days later, i celebrated Christmas Day; and just a week ago, we ushered in the new year; two days ago, i arrived back to taiwan and now here i am, sitting in the webcam room writing all this nonsense. it's amazing what two weeks can do to your life. all that i have and all that i hold dear to my heart, was taken away just like that in the course of time. having said that, for me to return back to singapore for good, returning back to taiwan is just part of the whole experience. so i take this oppurtunity to thank everyone back home for just being, you. that was all i wanted to meet. once again, thank you.

i miss perspiring.

yet will i praise thee,

i lift my hands and sing

yet will i praise thee,

i will bow before the king

and praise thee

give to you my everything

i lift up my hands and sing

yet will i praise thee.

oh well, 2007 just passed as the second hand edged closer to twelve and soon enough we find ourselves entering into a new year of our lives. looking back a year ago, i was still wondering how in the world today would be like, how i would even survive national service; for that matter, how i would even survive bmt in tekong, which at that point of time loomed over me. one year later, i not only survived bmt and half of national service, i've survived almost half of my posting term in taiwan. nevertheless this year has been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for me, feeling things that somehow seems to pertain more to the adult realm rather than the adolescents' one. still above all this, there were lessons learnt and it is these lessons that will stay with me forever. no matter how cliche that even sounded, it is true. so for all of these that has happened to me, i give God thanks and all the praise that He's worthy of because really without Him, gosh. i wouldn't even want to imagine how downright sucky my life can actually get.

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THANK YOU GOD, FOR 2007.