Just went to the doctor today to grab my MRI medical report -- turned out I've sustained a minor, "very very mild" slip disc condition due to a degeneration of the disc at the bottom of my spine. I suppose the squash 'warm-up' game only aggravated it; but then again, how was I to know? My doctors, including my physiotherapist said I could carry on with my physical activities, so there. But this time round, after reviewing my MRI scan report, the doctor advised me against high-impact sports. I asked if I could carry on playing squash and I could tell from his expression that he really didn't want to disapppoint me. But in the end, he said the word and I suppose I can lay my hands off the four squash rackets sitting at home right now. He advised swimming -- thankfully, something I enjoy -- and cycling. Running now had to be done with well-cushioned shoes, but honestly my mind was fixed on the fact that I can no longer, at least for now, play squash. In a desperate bid to seek approval for another sport I love, I asked whether I could play badminton. He disappointed me again, without having the intention to do so. Naturally, my net emotion after the appointment was in the red.

After lunch, I went down with the SPD team to watch two of our boys play in their exciting match. My net emotion continued its decline as firstly, the match was cancelled due to the rain; and secondly, I watched the boys play passionately for a sport they love. For someone now who cannot do just that, it was heartbreaking.

I feel useless. I think it's like how the senior citizens feel about themselves in relation to the world. Mentoring three athletic boys only compound the emotion...

I feel very useless.