All we need is a little bit of honesty.

Haven't blogged much these past few months, but I need a space to rant and pour my heart out. So since this is a convenience space, I figured "Why not?" After all, the materials used for my first sermon were taken from this blog space. (I do hope no one reads/ follows this blog though)

Fact is, I haven't been feeling too good this evening. It's the third day of the Lunar New Year and I just came back from my aunt's place. Before that, I went to my cousin's new flat before heading down to Jeryl's for a steamboat dinner. So it was a pretty hectic day for me, rushing and running to and fro from one place to another. Strangely enough instead of feeling all angsty and bottled up inside because of the mad rushings, I felt tired. Perhaps it's the cumulative effect of the week's visiting, feasting and late nights. But at my aunt's place, I laid on the couch and found myself soundly asleep for a good 45 mins. Mind you, I don't normally do this even when I'm most tired and shacked out. In a nutshell, today was somewhat a first.

I thought it was fatigue, considering the fact that I didn't sleep very well last night (in fact I went supper with Pine at Macs where we ate and talked for a good two hours). But then I realised it couldn't be fatigue, or at least not the kind I usually get. Simply because when I'm tired, I tend to go all emotional and thinking of stupid things I shouldn't be thinking of. But I wasn't. I was too tired to even think. My muscles were devoid of strength and energy seemed to have left my bones for good. Moreover, I didn't feel too good inside -- it was as if I was gonna fall sick, that kind of feeling. In fact, after this I'm gonna sleep already.

(I forgot why I even want to blog in the first place)

Suffice to say, I feel like a jerk. Maybe I am. It's not even an issue of "being torn" but rather, I feel like I'm intentionally shooting lil cupid arrows at two target boards at the same time. I feel rather disgusted with myself really. I won't even end with an "oh well..."; in fact I don't know how to end this entry.

goodnight world.