Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Heart And The Thirst For Blood

i recently attended my first ever philharmonic winds concert on sunday evening and i must say, they were better than what i thought them to be. i can't even pride myself to say that i have more than ten band mp3s in my computer, let alone say i know band music well enough to critique this particular band that i watched perform at the esplanade concert hall.

so naturally, darren being darren, i started thinking...

a quick flip through of the concert programmes booklet would reveal much about the latest developments for this band. well suffice to say, they're going overseas for a band clinic, a symposium of sorts i believe. and then i started thinking about how my time both past and present in a choir was. how we, as a choir go overseas once every two years to sing and compete at international competitions. often and fortunately at times we won, and it's natural for choristers to voice their displeasure at the nation's disdain of the arts scene - especially, the choral scene in schools.

more often than not we, i too was involved in the fiasco, always think of ourselves as national representatives which honestly isn't wrong, but yet do not get the glory and media attention that we hoped we would get. even the most prominent school choir winning big time at some really big international choir competition wouldn't get as much publicity as the SEA Games; then again, very often we don't even get Any publicity.

you're probably thinking that i'm going to get all fired up to speak my case against the country's treatment to promising choirs, bands, dance groups and instrumental ensembles who have the highest hopes of achieving excellence in their field of expertise. to answer that throbbing question then, i would say as much as i don't like the way we're being treated, i start to ask myself now "What exactly drives us to pursue the arts?"

you see, i've been to a few international choral competitions around the globe during my time in choir (not as much as my really good seniors, but still suffices for me to talk about it) and i realised that there was a trend of rallying everybody together during the final build-up to the competition to put in that bit more effort, for what? "To win the Gold medal" / "To win the Grand Prize" / "To top our category" / "To bring glory to Singapore" (okay, i don't normally hear the last one, but still i know there are some loyal singing lions out there). are they not what we use to hear?

i was challenged to think about this - to reconsider the driving force as to what drives my passion to sing. if i were to sing my part well, and blend perfectly with the choir just so that we can win the gold medal, a grand prize or even to top our categories participated in, what joy do we derive from it? such a joy is short-lived. yes the meomory of winning at riva del garda still resounds fresh in my head, but the joy of touching the grand prize in italy was short-lived; it lasted for the moment.

recently, i also had the priveledge of watching the accalaimed musical CATS and what struck me in the cast's performance wasn't just their perfect acting skills nor their singing techniques (they were fantastic in both, just by the way thing). instead, it was their joy of acting and singing just so that they could tell a story to us, the unknowing crowd of baboons. it was their enthusiasm that struck me as a performer and as an entertainer. the cast performs nearly every night at different locations all over the world over a long span of months the same piece over and over and over and over again.

now tell me, if their joy came from the last number, how tired would they feel after doing it over and over again numerous times? if they derived their joy from a standing ovation, and did not get it do they feel they've failed? if their joy comes from applause but the crowd is just unresponsive do they wallow in self-pity and conden themselves? i never actually talked to any of them personally, but this is my take on the matter. they considered the simplest act of performing through song, dance and drama as pure joy; to be able to sing out their heartfelt emotions, that was their joy.

now looking back on my choir days, they weren't wasted. nope, not a single bit because through the practices, we forged close friendships. but nevertheless, what joy did i derive from it? if i had not enjoyed myself and found joy in the simplest act of performing through choral singing, then maybe i'd have to rethink driving force behind this 'passion'

i know tomorrow is the SYF for JC Choirs, yet another competition. through this blog entry i'm not promoting a slack culture and attitude to strong choral singing techniques, i'm merely making my point known that sometimes we have to think more with our heart, rather than with our desire to kill.

the performing arts is a genre unlike the sports, where we don't go all out to kill; instead we touch lives through our repertoire, body movements and acting. everything we do comes from our emotions, our inner being, our state of mind, everything internal. we ought to think with our heart and not be driven by our thirst of winning a competition.

so the question still remains,
have You touched a life yet?

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