so yes, i've heard about the escape of the JI member. and no, unlike the rest of the nation back home which i'm guessing is probably freaking out right now, i'm not entirely shocked. not that i have no faith in our country's security plans and the regulatory authorities but rather in any place else in the world, there can never be an idiot-proof high level security detention area. furthermore i sincerely believe this was not because of a mistake committed by our ready guardsmen but rather, it was just probably those one in a billion chances that proves that our systems are after all only human-built and because we humans are imperfect, no matter how 'perfect' we think our created systems seem to be, it will never be. in fact they will always be far from perfect.

.

rather, i think what's running through the heads of my fellow comrades back home is whether or not they're safe. for goodness sake, have some faith in our security forces; the police force; the civil defence force; the armed forces. they're doing their best in what they do and the last thing they need to worry about is people running helter skelter in the streets screaming for help when all that has happened was their pencils dropping on the floor. point is, remember the total defence scheme, that part on psychological defence and all that relevant things. it's time someone knows that singapore stands as one nation through the good and the bad times.

damn, i sound like a true soldier.
"sign on la!"
i say YOU ARE MAD.

sometimes all we need are reminders;

it's easy to look at the blessings of others

and tend to neglect,

even forget,

ours.

the moment the sun sets

is the moment the friendships

take on a new course.

question is, which one?

the great debate: local or overseas.

i need to talk to someone rationally about this, simply because of my delusional irrational mind who has already very much decided on staying local but still have that seemingly undying sickening irritating portion of me that just keeps on dreaming to go overseas.

i really need to talk to someone

i just want to be doubly sure.

if that is Even possible.

this is just what you, economics freaks need.

within the pulsating rhythmic walls

there was silence.

the forgotten memories resurrected

and i soon found them all so familiar.

suddenly, they all meshed themselves

together, i couldn't see, i was forgetting.

list them down, the heavy bass beat told me

and so i did. they slowly became clear,

succint, distinct; i could remember.

be yourself. that's what silence told me.

no matter what, be yourself always.

in the mess of bodies gyrating on the floor,

they were pursuing something distant,

something i knew but could not describe.

it lasted as long as the music continued,

it lasted as long as the alcohol kept flowing,

it lasted just that long.

and then faces appeared from the dark.

the people i cared for, the people i loved,

the people i left behind. what seemed to be

a vaccuum of space didn't seem that dry

anymore. it welled up, it soaked me up.

slowly, they filled me to my neck, inching their

up to my face and then above me. it consumed me.

and then i heard voices calling out. i heard

a steady pulsating beat. i saw pyrotechnics flashing across

the dance floor. and that's where i knew

i had found silence.

no. silence found me.

i knew it, i knew it. singapore won the bid to host the youth olympic games in 2010. as posted in my previous entry, maybe it's precisely because some of the members of the voting committee read that entry and took the high number of videos uploaded onto youtube as part of the selection criteria. FAT HOPE, DARREN. what was i thinking.

it's big news definitely, especially for such a small south-east asian nation. it's definitely a first, probably a watershed in the history of singapore and for the region. getting all excited and hyped up after thew news is undoubtable but let's face it. can this hooha last till 2010. i'm starting to wonder whether this becomes one of those familiar national day gimmicks where the excitement, at least what's left of it today, builds up and explodes all away into the air together with the finishing fireworks down at esplanade. so, question is, what next?

"i wished i could be somebody's 'jerry'.

look, i'm sorry i liked you but i didn't mean to;

i just did.

it's not your fault, it's me."

i wished i could be somebody to you.

look, i'm sorry i started it all but i didn't mean to;

i did it because i loved you.

now, that love is gone.

and all i can do is wonder whether i can love ever again.

it's not your fault, it's me.

there has been much action in singapore lately regarding the Youth Olympics 2010 bid hasn't there? from what i know, the results of the bid will only be released some time this week but there has sure been lots of hype surrounding it. so, i decided to check out some of the videos myself on youtube. yes, the wonderful world of youtube. no doubt there were some really crappy videos, i'm speaking in terms of the professionalism of the video uploaded and not judging the raring enthusiasm shown by the participants, but i must say after all that i've watched, singapore really do deserve to win. a quick search on youtube on moscow's olympic bid and i was offered a dismaying result of two videos. if number of videos uploaded onto youtube was a selection criterion, i'm sorry to say but yes the ASIANS PREVAIL.

it's really encouraging to see the whole of singapore getting so hyped up over this bid, after all this could very well be just an ordinary bid in the eyes of the organisers in the beginning. at least that's what they thought. awesome display of national unity not just amongst the youths per se, but surprisingly amongst the heartlanders. yes i'm referring to you auntie. hanging your NUM flag outside your window- you just put those people encouraging others to hang national flags on national day to shame. it shows something doesn't it? oh well. so check this video out, i think it's one of the better vids i've watched, the other being the promotional less than a minute long video, but i much prefer this. nonetheless, if you havent watched the vancouver promotional video for the 2010 winter olympics bid, you missed out a whole lot. that was pretty good. gah- made me want to go there and see those smiley faces. so, aiyah, enough said. check this video out.

makes me wonder further, if the choral society here decided to bid for, say the world choir games, would singaporeans rise up to the challenge and display their national unity seen now? now that, is some food for thought.

enjoy.

in a few hours time the day that singles around the world dread will arrive with the first chime of the bells. don't be mistaken, i am in no way emphatatic or sympathatic of myself. there's no reason for me to feel that way anyway. thinking back of the days in vjc, of the manner we celebrate this exclusively special day, it seemed to be more of a watered down version of the romantic dinners held at posh restaurants. but those days were good. dedications to classes, teachers, special people of which i had no part in were naturally heard at the defunct lion dance room. loudspeakers boom as crooners belt out their ballads, it was fun. *chuckles, yes it was fun.

i once loved, but now lost it

there's no space for you, or them.

it's just a table for one, then...

thank you.

many things run through
my head tonight.
confusion's what i see
but music made me forget.

alright, so things didn't go as planned as mentioned in the previous entry cause of various reasons but all in all for the past four days of holidays, i must say i'm really just darn soaking up the whole chinese new year atmosphere here.

imagine this. having a reunion dinner at alvin's house, 4 steamboats to feed nearly three quarters of the camp as well as the customary blackjack and mahjong tables all nicely displayed just waiting for mata to catch only. of course the mata here also at home drinking beer and gambling la, no time to come and catch us. so after a nice dinner and watching neo defeat that man in black (it's the matrix i'm talking about, just a fyi thing?) we all proceeded outside to the backyard and guess what. we set off firecrackers and fireworks. you heard them right! that thing that goes pop in chinatown that you watch on the telly and everybody in singapore goes WAAAAAH... ya that thing, we set it off. hahah. and that thing that goes boom boom boom in they sky with a lot a lot of colours that you watch at explanade and everybody there goes WAAAAAH... ya that thing, we set it off too. best part was, we ALL set it off. just grab a firework and a lighted cigarette (just a btw thing, i don't smoke) and WHEEEEE. off it goes into the sky. watching it at esplanade during the national day parade was one thing, but watching it go off in the backyard just less than a hundred metres above us that was one hell of an experience. hahah. couldn't get enough of it, so we played for an hour or so i think, we lost track. i've got videos though. heh. mahjong and blackjack all the way after that, the wives club went back with their respective husbands leaving the single bachelors to play. confessions- i played mahjong la. haha. but it was a small bet and let's just say that though i was the won the most, it wasn't that big a deal anyway.

first day of the new year was spent in bunk cause of the previous night's dinner. did i mention that before we could finish the things inside the steamboat, we already started pouring new things inside to the extent that half the time we don't know whether the food in our mouth is cooked or absolutely raw? anway, it was a painful experience but nevertheless, managed to get my ass out to renjie's place for another... make a guess.. steamboat. and more, curry. wow. perfect combination for an already upset stomach. but it was good clean fun, it was after all a celebration with the green people, so gambling is always involved just that that night's money making wasn't as huge as a win of 60,000NT for some people, rather, that ONE person. all thanks to the kids.

found my ass in taipei yesterday to see what i could find but there wasn't much to see. not exactly a wasted trip cause after all i was with good company so that in itself was good. so here's the main point. i was supposed to go to tainan this morning, but considering that we woke up late at 11plus it was useless to go there and come back by nightfall. we didn't want to stay overnight there as well, felt it was also useless. nevermind. in the end having nowhere to go we got psychoed by combatant guardsman medic jeremy chia and his sidekicks to go to yangmingshan to guess what? see flower. okay loh, never mind la. go la, could be fun. wrong. moment we stepped out of the bus at the mountains, numb ears and frozen cheeks was what we could feel, or rather could not feel. so jacob philip and myself went downhill while the other three went to bash their way through the greens just to appreciate flowers at a temperature of less than 5degrees. oh, did i mention it was raining quite a bit as well? what did you expect, we're the people in green.

to cut the long story short, we then wanted to go tainan tomorrow morning but realised that the last train back on a saturday/ evening was at 1930 or something. NO TIME! so scrapped the idea for now, pushed it till summer probably. oh well, it was all good fun. as for tomorrow, it's off to renjie's house for mahjong then to staff low's place for.. urgh. steamboat. haha. after all, chinese new year's meant to be spent with your family and to me, these people are family to me at least for my time here. hahha.

PS: it's friggin cold now. 8degrees in camp, where i am now, without considering the wind of course; 5degrees in ximending, taipei, 12pm. and less than 5degrees, nearing zero probably at yangmingshan. welcome to chinese new year in taiwan. fantastic isn't it?

it's chinese new year eve today and i'm officially on a holiday from wednesday (today) till next monday. so to do the math for you, that's 6 days of public holiday for me and i am so gonna lap it all up. apparently there're a cold front appearing from china and is expected to 'reach' taiwan either today or tomorrow. having said that, i'm sitting out in the cold now at 7-11 surfing the net and writing this unwritable and uninteresting entry because of all the filipinos surfing inside in the warm atmosphere of the store. to make matters colder, it's drizzling slightly at a temperature just hovering above 10 degrees. and to make matters worse, if it isn't already, you forgot about the wind. nevertheless, these 6 days of holidays are there for me to enjoy and you bet i'm going to do just that! it's taipei tomorrow. slack the next day. tainan to eat and see see, not to mention squeeze with the horrendous crowds you wish were all thin, on the third day. slack on fourth day. and maybe a nice hot spring bath on the last day of my public holidays run. okay, my hands are now officially cold and numb so forgive me if this entry is short- PS: i didn't expect it to be this long so i suppose you didn't waste your time just reading one sentence that says happy chinese new year to you all. but then again, i just cannot not include this in, especially on this lovely cold eve. so here goes,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!
(missing you, you and YOU)